Madness, Part 1

Posted on Mon Sep 21st, 2015 @ 8:25pm by Ensign Reva Madhava & Lieutenant Raj Amani & Desta

* SS Takei *

Reva hadn’t slept so much as she had hibernated: after her enormous meal in the crew lounge with Desta, she’d curled up with Riley and had, even when he eventually rose and left her alone, been blissfully unaware of the world around her for nearly fifteen hours. Not all of those hours had been restful, though. She dreamed of Fisher and woke screaming and clawing at the sheets that she had wound around herself as she slept.

The doors opened and a tall figure hurried into the dimly lit room. “Reva?” The voice belonged to Raj. “Computer, lights, 100 percent.” He hurried over to the bunk and took hold of her shoulders. “Reva! It’s me.”

“No!” She shouted and connected with his face, scratching him. The solid contact of the blow brought her fully awake and she scrambled away from the man. Eyes wide, she stared at him and asked, “Raj?”

“Yes, it’s really me. I heard you shouting from outside in the corridor.” He reached up, gingerly touched his cheek and winced. “Nightmare?”

“Where’s Riley? And, yeah, a nightmare.” She calmed down considerably then grimaced as she looked at his cheek. “I’m sorry. You’ll need to see the doctor about that.”

“I’ll get to it shortly. Riley’s on the bridge at the moment but he’s due for relief in a few minutes I believe. You’ve been asleep…” he checked the time. “Fifteen hours more or less.”

“Oh,” she grunted. “Is it bad that I feel like I could sleep another fifteen? Is Riley on duty on the bridge?” Reva sounded a bit like she couldn’t believe that.

Raj laughed and shook his head. “Sleep if you need it, it’s normal. And yes, he’s on duty, sitting in for the helmsman. Can I get you anything while I’m here?”

“No. I should get up and take a walk. Is Desta with you? This ship isn’t huge, but walking the corridors on both decks is about five kilometers.” Reva, still wearing her t-shirt and bulky cardigan, eased off the bed and went to the replicator. She came back with a towel and antiseptic. “Here, sit down,” she dipped an edge of the towel in the antiseptic and dabbed at the scratch on his cheek.

Raj drew in his breath in a hiss. “Wow, that burns. But it’s not as bad as the day Six bashed my head into the bar. What is it with the two of you beating up on me anyhow?” he joked.

“It shows we like you, that’s all,” she smiled, joking. “I miss my friend.” Knowing that was a vague statement, she shrugged and added, “Ever since she started dating Suresh, there’s been a divide.”

“I know.” Raj frowned as he considered his response. “There doesn’t have to be. She misses you a lot too. She wouldn’t mind my telling you that.”

“How do you know that?” Reva paused in her ministrations.

“Counselor, remember? And I’m not revealing anything confidential either. Bryce could tell you that too.”

“Starfleet counselor. I didn’t think you guys counseled civilians,” she frowned. “Anyway, we’ll see what happens when we get home."

“We do see the civilians too,” Raj said. “It’s not as common since many of them don’t bother.”

"Lemme find my jeans and shoes and we’ll go get Desta for a walk. Unless she’s sleeping?”

He stood and moved to the door. “She went in to grab a nap a few hours ago. We should go by and check on her, then I’ll stop into the medbay and use the regenerator.”

“kay,” she found her jeans and pulled them on and slipped her feet in shoes. “Let’s go. Desta first.”

They went down two doors and Raj pressed the chime, then called out. “Desta, it’s me.” He looked down at Reva. “I discovered she doesn’t like surprises much.”

“Can’t imagine why,” Reva said, smiling slightly. “I didn’t see much of the Kazon who controlled her, but Fisher...,” she shuddered and looked away from Raj.

The door opened and Desta smiled at the two. “Hi.” She managed to not ask what Raj wanted of her; for that, she was happy. She frowned when she saw the cut on Raj’s face.

“Hey, I’m going to go for a walk. Would you like to come with me?” Reva asked her.

“Sure but….what happened to your face, Raj?” Desta leaned in closer to take a look. “Nail scratch,” she observed. “Who--?” She stopped and moved back a step. “I shouldn’t ask.”

Reva felt Desta’s sudden revulsion and moved to take her hand; she quickly read just what Desta was thinking. “Woah, he’s okay. Des, I got him. I was having a nightmare and Raj tried to wake me up,” she showed Desta her sharp nails. “I was defending myself from Fisher and got him instead.”

“Oh.” She reached out to take Raj’s hand in hers. “Of course. I’m so sorry for thinking….never mind. Thank you, Reva.” She let go of Raj and touched Reva’s arm. How embarrassing. Do you think he noticed?

No, he’s okay. Considering what you’ve been through, he wouldn’t blame you for thinking he ...likes being rough with women. “Come on, shoes on. We’ll go stretch our legs and you can see more of the ship.” Reva knew that would mean encountering strange men, too, but she hoped Desta would be okay with it.

Raj squeezed Desta’s hand. “It’s okay, Desta.” He had also sensed her rush of emotion and understood it but it concerned him as well. “Come on, it will be good to stretch your legs. I found a kal-toh sphere in the ready room and left it in the observation lounge if you two get bored.”

His ‘come on’ sounded a bit like a command, which made her immediately start pulling on shoes. She stopped, though, to look up at him and ask, “I have a choice? I could say no?”

“Of course you could. Is there something you’d rather do?” Raj asked.

Desta thought about it then shook her head and smiled slightly. “No, a walk sounds good. I just wanted to know.” She finished putting on shoes and joined them.

Chuckling, Reva smiled. “Just testing, huh?”

She nodded. “Raj keeps telling me I can, I just have to get used to it.” She looked up to the Counselor now. “Coming with us?”

Raj looked from one to the other. “Go on ahead, I’m going to hit the medbay and fix my face.”

Wincing, Reva looked at the scratch. “Yeah, sorry about that, Raj. Maybe next time... a face mask?” She winked at him and caught Desta’s arm to pull her along. “It’ll be a good walk, just us.”

“So it will. See you soon Raj.” The two women turned and strolled away down the corridor.

* * *

The walk around the Takei had been interesting and Desta was thrilled that she’d gone the whole walk without being scared of the men on the ship. All of them had been in Starfleet uniform and Reva had been with her and had assured her that none of them would harm her. The walk had also tired the both of them out and they’d gone back to their separate rooms to sleep.

Sometime later, Desta woke abruptly, terrified in the dimly lit room. Alone. She had spent plenty of time alone in Pash’s quarters on the Fisheries ship. Then, it had been good to be alone: having Pash there meant either servitude or pain. But here, she didn’t know if or when someone would come in. Her fear grew, coiling around on itself till, crying, she bolted from her bed and her quarters.

She rang a door chime and waited, hoping no one came along the corridor while she was standing there.

The chime pulled Raj from a deep sleep that had claimed him after too many hours awake. It took a few seconds for him to realize it was someone at the door and not a dream. He tumbled out of the bed, hit the floor and cursed as he rubbed his knee. Finally, he staggered over to the door, glad he had remembered to sleep in shorts and opened the doors. Thankfully, the corridor lights had been dimmed since it was gamma shift. He blinked, seeing Desta there and in tears.

“Des--?”

“Raj! Please, may I sleep with you?”, she pleaded, fear evident in her voice.

He blinked at the question but seeing, and sensing, her mental state, he drew her inside. “What’s happened?”

“I’m scared. I dreamed I was on ...that Pash was....” She hiccuped with a sob. “I woke up alone and that scared me even more. I don’t want to be alone here. Please let me stay?”

Her deep despair was washing over him in waves. Raj’s thoughts were moving at a gallop as he wrestled with the situation. “Oh...sure. Umm, let me get some clothes on...and….” He stopped as she clung to him. “Okay...it’s okay, really, Des.”

“Thank you. I can sleep on the floor; I won’t be a bother, I promise,” she squeezed his hand.

“No, you take the bed. In my past, I’ve slept propped in a corner and was glad of it. You have the bed.” He stroked her back gently to soothe her. “You’re safe here. I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”

“I don’t want to displace you. We’ll share the bed, then.” She put her head on his shoulder and read that he was tempted by her; she also read his panic, his concerns about scaring her by touching her. “Oh... no, Raj, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ask this of you. Not without offering something,” she said, stepping back slightly and moving to remove her nightgown. “You’ll be more comfortable sharing the bed once we’ve eased your worries.”

Raj was sure his blood pressure had just skyrocketed. Mixed in with the turmoil in his thoughts was the realization of what was really happening here. It was a sickening look into just what her life had been like recently. He reached out to still her hands.

“Desta, I...I’m not him. I don’t operate that way. I don’t see you as some object just to...ease my worries or make me comfortable. You’re far better than that.” He saw, to his dismay, that the top of her nightgown was already open.

“But you are tempted. I’m offering. This is my choice. I choose to help you and then we can sleep, peacefully tired out.” To her, it made sense.

He closed his eyes and muttered to himself. He was in a very difficult position here and he knew he had to tread carefully. Finally, he took her hands in his.

“Desta, I promised to help you adjust to your life now and deal with the past. I can do that but not if I complicate the issues or make them worse. You’ve been through hell and if I do this, I’ll be no better than Pash. You don’t have to offer yourself just to please me or to...to pay for my keeping you company when you’re afraid.” He swallowed and cleared his throat. “Do you understand what I’m saying here? You can read me, do so if it’s easier.”

“I don’t need to read you, I get it. I just,” she looked at his hands holding hers then at his face, “don’t believe it. I mean, I understand what you’re saying and that you’re sincere. I can’t believe my fortune in being rescued by you.”

He smiled as relief began to settle over him. He let go of her hands and reached out to button up her nightgown. “In that case, let’s get some sleep shall we?”

“Yes. I will sleep easier knowing you’re here. Before, I was worried about who might come in.” She let him finish buttoning her nightgown then moved to his bed. “You are sure you don’t wish to share it with me?”

Raj nodded. “It will be less complicated going forward if I don’t,” he answered. “But I’ll be right here beside you, I promise.”

She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.” She gathered his sheets about her, curled up and was soon sleeping quietly.

*********
Desta
Lt. Raj Amani
Ensign Reva Madhava