Where Do We Go From Here

Posted on Tue Dec 11th, 2012 @ 7:50pm by Lieutenant Nick Marcinko & Lieutenant Commander Leto

Mission: The Struggle Within
Location: Palaxia's Playground / Marcinko's Quarters
Timeline: Current

* * * Deck 276 -- Palaxia’s Playground * * *

It had been six hours since he’d walked out on Nenita in the recovery room. He wanted to beat his own face in for leaving her alone when she may have needed him but he had never been so confused before. She was Nenita, but she wasn’t. It was her body, but not her face.

“Heya, Nick,” a whiny voice said beside him. “I haven’t seen you around in a while, at least not alone. What’s been going on? Anything good?”

He turned to see Lisann, one of the prostitutes that Seyla would send up to the Promenade decks on occasion to fish for new men and women that may want to pay for their services but were either too afraid, or ashamed, to go down to the Cherry Pit and find them themselves. Lisann was Human, about five-foot-six, blonde hair, blue eyes and a rockin’ body. But her voice...it made Nick want to claw his eyes out. Yeah, he’d had the pleasure of nailing her seductive body down into a random mattress a few times, but he had to insist that she keep the talking to an extreme minimum--and even that didn’t work, so he’d gagged her, which made her even more voracious, so it kinda’ worked out.

“Hi, Lisann,” he said without bringing his head up. He’d been staring at the glass of whisky for twenty minutes. “I’m not in a good mood so this may not be the best time.”

“I could tell,” she said, sliding into the booth across from him. “So, where’s whatsherface? She workin’ or somethin’?”

“She’s...” He stopped, not knowing how to continue. How did he answer that question now? “She’s gone.”

“Oh,” she replied, and even that one word was so nasally and high pitched that it made Nick’s ears ring. “Just waiting on her to get back. I see.”

“She won’t be back. She’s never coming back again. She’s gone.”

“Oh--OH! Oh, Nicky, honey, I’m so sorry! Was she reassigned?” She stopped, gasped and put her hand to her mouth. “Tell me she didn’t leave you! You were hittin’ that, right? I mean, nobody would leave you after that if you were serious about ‘em! Was she stupid or somethin’?”

He shook his head, put his hand up to stop her--which didn’t work, then waved it at her, tried to speak several times and finally he had to yell. “No! Damn, Lisann. Ease up, okay?” His shoulders slumped and he went back to staring at his drink. She took the opportunity to strike, hoping he’d enjoy her for the evening to get over his loss.

She got up and slid in next to him, her hand planted firmly on his crotch. She began rubbing him lightly. “I could help you forget her, you know,” she said in a throaty whisper. “I remember how much you enjoyed it when I put my mouth on--”

“Okay, that’s enough!” he said, grabbing her hand and tossing it back at her. “Look, Lisann, I appreciate it, I really do, but...not today. Maybe not ever.”

Her eyes went wide. “Not...ever? Gods, Nicky, what the hell did that woman do to you?” She pouted out her lips and asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

He didn’t. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. So, of course, he spilled his guts. He couldn’t help it. Of course, he didn’t say anything about Nenita changing her face or anything about their missions. Lisann was used to that with him, but he just talked about everything he and Nenita had done, how he’d finally found the one woman and now she was just...gone.

He talked for an hour. She listened. Oddly enough, him talking about his life and love with Nenita was what was needed to shut her up. So he kept on. The only time they took a break was when he was tired of sitting in the Playground and asked if she minded listening to him in his own quarters.

“But I swear to whatever gods you believe in, Lisann, that this is not a request for sex in any way, understand? If you want to listen as a friend, come along. If you’re expecting to get paid, you can fuck off.”

“Nah, Nick,” she said, now smacking chewing gum with a wide open mouth, like a cow chewing its cud. “I’ll come with you. I don’t think you’ve ever shared this much with me, or anyone else, ever! It’s kinda’ fascinating!”


* * * Deck 170 - Nick’s Quarters * * *

They walked and he talked. And talked. And talked some more. The lift ride to his deck was fairly quick and the walk to his quarters was only a five minute stroll from there. Once in his quarters, he made sure the lights were up to 100% in each room, but he did offer her a drink. She took wine, he took more whisky and he made sure to sit across the room from her.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he finally said after another thirty minutes of talking. “Lisann, I love her--yeah, yeah, shaddap,” he said at her wrinkled face at the mention of the word ‘love’. “I just...I don’t know how to move on. Things have changed now, she’s changed, but I’m still the same.” His head fell back onto the back of the chair he was in. He moaned loudly in frustration and stared at the ceiling a few moments. Finally, he needed another sip of his drink and when he brought his head back up, Lisann was standing in front of him removing her clothing.

“It’s okay, Nick,” she said as she began to unfasten her bra. “I know how to get you to move on and I’ll even let you have this one for free.”

He stood angrily, scooping her clothes up from the floor and taking her by the arm, his grip firm. He jabbed the door actuator, tossed the clothes out across the corridor and shoved her out with them, her small body bouncing off of the wall. “Goddamit, Lisann, I told you I just wanted to talk to someone! Are you really that hard up for it? Get the fuck out of here, then. Go find someone else that actually wants to have sex, and you know what? Don’t ever speak to me again! And spread the word with the other whores: Nick Marcinko is off the market! I’m not looki--”

He stopped as he noticed Lisann looking down the corridor at someone. Turning, he expected to see security staff there, something that had happened on more than one occasion. But instead, it was her. The ‘new and improved’ Nenita.

It was if he’d almost wilted as he saw her. Ashamed at leaving her alone, ashamed at not knowing how to immediately love her new face and ashamed for having a hooker in his room just a few hours after her surgery, no matter how innocent it was.

Turning back to Lisann he said, “Look, I’m sorry. But I told you I didn’t want to do anything.”

“You must really be stuck on that woman, Nick,” she said, shoving her arms angrily into her shirt sleeves. “I was gonna’ give it to you for free. For free, you dumb bastard! I can’t believe you threw me out!”

He shook his head and ducked back into his quarters, letting the doors close behind him.

The brunette that was now Nenita reached Lisann as she tugged on the rest of her clothes and looked her up and down. “Doesn’t seem to be your night does it honey?”

“No, I guess not.” She whisked up her shoes and stockings from the floor and stood back up. “I don’t know what’s wrong with that guy. He’s stuck on some woman who left him. If I were him I’d find the first piece I could get and go to town, but he wouldn’t even touch me, except to throw me on my ass!” Shaking her head she said her thanks to the stranger and walked off toward the nearest turbolift.

“The stranger’ turned to watch her go with a smile on her face. Finally she turned back to Nick’s door and rang the chime as her smile faded.

“It’s open,” he said as he waited for Nenita to enter and tear him a new asshole for leaving her alone after a major surgery. “Come on in.”

He fidgeted in the seat as the door slid open and she stepped in. He’d since lowered the lights in the room. It was just a ploy for her not to see the bewilderment on his face.

Once the doors closed, she stayed where she was and spoke. “So talk to me, Nick.”

He found it hard to look at her so he stared a hole in the carpeting. “I just feel so confused. You’re not you anymore. You’re...her,” he said, gesturing to Nenita. “I know you’re in there but I can’t see you.” He shook his head. “I’ve never felt like this. I...I have no idea what to do.”

“I understand,” she said softly. “You never knew my original face. This is nothing huge for me, been there done that. But for you I can see why it’s made your head a mess. I sent Lisann on her way, too.” Nenita smiled for a moment. “This may sound fucked up, but do you have any idea how good it made me feel to see you kicking one of the girls out and saying what you did?”

“I did it because I promised Nenita that I was hers, and hers alone.” He still couldn’t look at her. He shrugged. “But she’s gone. Now you’re here,” he said. “And what’s really fucked up? Is that you’ll have to change your name to complete this transformation. Then Nenita really will be gone.” Finally, he looked up. “How do I deal with that? How do I just start calling you Maggie, or Samantha or Jennifer?” He shook his head. “I thought, on the planet, that I could take this in stride because it’s part of the Intelligence gig, but now that it’s happening to not only someone I know but someone that I love completely...”

For the first time since Nenita had met Nick, she saw something that shocked her. Tears. Nick Marcinko, bad-ass-motherfucker who’d rather kill you than look at you, never shed a tear. For anything. It must have been the half-human part of him because Klingons didn’t have tear ducts, but here he was.

“Goddammit,” he said as he stood to find a towel. “What the fuck is this shit? I don’t cry!”

“Apparently you do. And for the record, you call me any of those names, I’ll knock your lights out.” She stepped into the bathroom and returned with a towel, which she used to wipe his tears. “Tell me something Nick. When you fell in love with me, was it because of what I looked like or who I am?”

“It was for everything, every bit of it,” he said, now trying to push the towel away like a child trying to get away from a mother wiping dirt off of their face. “I mean, at first it was because you’re--well, you were smoking hot. Then I got to know you and the sweet ass and firm breasts didn’t mean all that much to me anymore. Without the way we got along, how you understood me and didn’t push me away for being such a crude asshole, the rest of that stuff meant nothing.” He finally looked her in the eyes. “I loved the way you looked, I loved your mind, I loved everything about you. Now it’s like there’s a piece missing.” He huffed. “You know how they say men are visual creatures and all that? I guess this is just part of it. I don’t know...you. I knew Nenita, but whoever you’re going to be, I don’t know. It’s like I’m going to have to get to know you all over again.”

She stepped away and flung the balled up towel back through the bathroom door. “I haven’t changed, aside from the outward appearance. I still have the same mind, the same thoughts, the same likes and dislikes, I’ll still get turned on when you do that little thing you do....” She paused as she caught sight of her face in the mirror on the wall. “Do you think it’s not a shock for me too? Seeing this face in the mirror instead?”

“I don’t--I guess,” he said. Letting out a roar of frustration he stood and walked to her. “I fell deeply in love with that Nenita,” he said, nodding his head to the side as if her prior self were standing there. “Looking at you, when you don’t look like you, it’s hard for me to process, okay? This whole relationship is new territory for me anyway! I don’t just go around professing my love to anyone, but...I did. To you--to her, whatever! Now you have a new face, you’re going to have a new name. I mean, what am I supposed to do at night, alone, when you’re not around? Who am I thinking about? You, or her? Both? This is confusing the shit out of me!”

She studied his face for a few moments. “Would you rather have me dead? Because if I’d stayed looking the same? I would be. You know as well as I do what that man has done, and he won’t stop Nick.”

He took her arms and pulled her to him. “I told you, a long time ago, that I would do anything for you. And this seems to be part of it, but you have to give me some time to process it. I know the woman I love is in there...it’s just getting past this,” he said as he rubbed his hand down her new cheek, “that’s giving me pause.” He started to kiss her lightly, but as his lips barely touched hers, he pulled back. He still couldn’t do it. “I’m a one woman man now, Nenita, and I think that the effort I had to put into that way of thinking is tripping me up. In my mind I know who you are, but my eyes are telling me something else and it’s not helping my pea-sized brain any to be in that situation. It’s almost as if I’m cheating on you...with you.”

He touched her face again and went to sit. “So...thoughts on a name, then?”

“Did you notice?” She lifted her hair to reveal ears that now were very Vulcan-like, but with two small tips. “Halanan ears. I thought that appearing to be a different species altogether would be better cover. PIty I don’t have their telepathic ability too. As for a name, I’m still working on that one.”

He had barely gotten his ass planted in the chair when she revealed her ears. He immediately stood back up. “Well, well,” he said, closing in to inspect them. “I always thought you would have looked good with little pixie ears.” When he came back around to face her, the smile that had appeared faded. It was still going to take some time to get used to her not being her. “But they do look nice,” he added. “And despite my complete idiotic breakdown here, I think you do look beautiful.”

For a moment the two stood there looking back at each other. Nick was going over every single feature in her face trying to memorize her new look so he could pick her out of a crowd. But mainly he was looking for any sign that his old Nenita was still in there. She smiled slightly and, when she did, there was a certain sparkle in her eyes that he remembered. They may have changed their color, but they were still Nenita’s eyes.

He hugged her tenderly. It was good to feel her in his arms again and he didn’t want to let her go. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend that she still looked the same.

“Stop that Nicky.” She reached down as he hugged her and pinched his ass. “I know what you’re doing. That won’t help.”

“Gotta’ start somewhere, don’t I?” He stood there, holding her, not wanting to bring back the reality of the new face, but knowing that sometime very soon he’d have to get used to it or risk losing Nenita altogether. “So, uh,” he pulled back and looked at her, “I need to come up with something to call you for now. I can’t keep using your name or the cat will be out of the bag. Of course, the computer still knows that you’re alive and well, so you may have to talk to Smith or Sakkath about removing you from the database.”

“Patrick can make the changes, list her as MIA, presumed ….dead. New officer transferred in.” She thought for a few seconds, then smiled. “As for the new name, I think I’ll use Leto. A bit of an inside joke. Do you recall any of Earth’s Greek mythology? Her name actually means ‘hidden’.”

“Leto. Sounds nice,” he lied. “I guess that’ll take some getting used to, but Leto it is.” He wasn’t about to tell her he didn’t like it, but it wasn’t up to him. “And us? Everyone knows I am, or I was, only with Nenita. Are we gonna’ have to ease back into things for those not in the know?”

She sighed aloud as she thought about that. “I guess that depends on who is going to know doesn’t it? Obviously the Doc and Ophelia know. Patrick will know. The command staff and Jackson will need to know. Anyone else?”

“Oh, damn. I just realized that Li is going to flip when she gets back!” he finally laughed, easing up some. “So yeah, I guess that’s it. The fewer people the less likely someone would slip up.” He huffed. “Damn, I’m going to have to take you out on dates and ‘get to know you’,” he said with air quotes. “It could have been worse. You could have chosen to be a dude.”

“Like hell!” She finally smiled though, sensing that he’d relaxed, at least a little. “And you told Lisann I was gone for good, you know her mouth,. It will be all over the station by tomorrow.”

Yeah, he knew her mouth. “I’m sure it will be. I guess I’ll be playing the forlorn lover for a while, not interested in playing around. Otherwise I’m sure I’d get inundated with women throwing themselves at me.” He winked.

She punched him in the chest in a very familiar gesture. “I just bet you would.”

“So, seriously,” he said, holding her hand against his chest, “I’m trying very hard to ‘get’ this, okay? I still love who you are. I just have to get used to seeing you this way.” Pulling her close to him he continued, “However, you are beautiful.” This time when he went to kiss her, he actually did so. It was a simple kiss--no tongue, no ferocity, but still a steamy full-on kiss, one that could, and had, started many a lovemaking session between the two. It was a bit different, however. Her lips weren’t as full, they were thinner, and her face was skinnier, a bit more narrow. But the passion was still there. He smiled as he gently traced her new eyebrows with his finger, then the outline of her lips and followed her jawline back to those little pointy ears. “You have to realize, Neni--er, uh Leto, that you have pretty damn good taste in women.”

“Because I”ve been one for so long. And I hate to break it to you now but when I was picking faces, I chose things that appeal to you under normal circumstances. It’ll just take some getting used to but I know what you like NIck.” She smiled, a smile that was bigger, brighter, and made her eyes tilt up just a little.

“Like the ears,” he said, lightly rubbing her left ear. “And these cheekbones, and your lips--but I don’t want you thinking I didn’t like you before. That version of you will be hard to beat! But it’ll be fun finding out what your ‘O’ face looks like now.” He laughed.

That earned Nick another punch. “You’ll have to find out...if you behave that is.” She laughed, then sobered. “Look, Nicky, I understand how hard this is for you and that it will take time. I'm okay with that, really.”

Putting his forehead against hers he looked into her eyes. “Thanks. But not too long, okay? I’m already all worked up and you lost a bet, remember? Shuttle, loops, nun costume and briefcase?” He winked. “Don’t think that this is getting you out of your bet, gorgeous.”

“I rather hope it doesn’t. Now how about dinner? I’m starving. Harding wouldn’t let me eat before the surgery, and I just got out of there.” She slipped her hand into Nick’s and gave it a squeeze. “First date?”

He smiled. He was getting more used to her by the minute. Of course, he felt like a schmo for being such a drama queen now, but it wasn’t that easy changing from one girlfriend to the same girlfriend but with a different face. For now, he was just going with it. “Sounds like a plan. Want me to cook something or are we eating out? And speaking of eating out, Ms. Leto, do you put out on a first date? Because I do.” He automatically flinched, knowing she’d probably box his ears for that one.

She did, the smack upside his head right on target. “We’ll see how it goes, big guy.” Letting go of his hand, she turned and strolled out through the doors, leaving him to follow or not as he chose.

He started to object at her letting go of his hand but soon realized that he still had to ‘play the part’. If they had walked out of there hand-in-hand, all lovey-dovey, then her face change would have been for nothing. Someone could have noticed, taken keen interest in Nenita’s sudden disappearance and then Nick’s quick rebound with the new lady and snowball from there. But before she got too far, he yelled, “Lao’s! I’ll meet you at Lao’s!” He was determined to get back into the groove with her, no matter what.

****************

Lt.(jg) Nenita Quidley No More
Now Leto The Hidden


MCPO Nick Marcinko
In Love With Two Women Who Are The Same