Going Forward Alone - Part II

Posted on Sun Feb 14th, 2016 @ 11:06pm by Captain Li Hawke & Lieutenant Commander Michael Darwin
Edited on on Mon Feb 15th, 2016 @ 11:54am

Mission: Further Challenges
Location: Starbase 900 / Archadia III

* 15 Minutes Later *

Li had been utterly silent as the turbolift ascended. She had entered a code in the panel and now it bypassed the C&C deck and kept going. It reached Deck 1 and still continued upward briefly. Finally the doors opened and she stepped out into a small round room with a single door in the opposite wall. Beside the door was a panel and she entered another code, unlocking the door. When it opened, she climbed a short flight of stairs that ended in a round space that was the very top of the station. The walls were transparent all around, giving a complete view of the area around 900 and the planet below. She stopped in the center, unmoving.

Darwin, sensing how personal this space could be for some, stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Looking up at Li, he had a sudden spike of emotion hit him; he looked down and pressed his fingers into his eyes as his throat tried to close.

She sat down in the center and now, alone save for Darwin, closed her eyes, and let the memories of this place flood through her. It was a place of passion, their place to be alone from the entire universe. It was here that Sakkath had always felt free to give in to the storm of unbridled emotions he’d kept locked away at other times. Some part of her realized that Darwin might be hit with all this and, as private as she was, he’d seen her at another, personal time and helped carry her through that. The thought was gone in an instant, lost in the emotional onslaught.

He hadn’t realized how personal this space was - he’d underestimated it. He associated this space with another emotional time: when Sakkath had brought Chance back from the recesses of a Hazari’s mind. He looked up at her.

The telepathy blocker Earl had used suddenly faded and now, her words reached Darwin directly.


What will I do now…?

The silence of the room suddenly faded as the memories became real for Darwin, roaring in his head. Beneath it all rose a lingering cry that became louder, part of the real world. It was Li.

Caught in the maelstrom, Darwin took the stairs two at a time. He pulled Li into a protective, comforting embrace and let her cry. “It’ll ...,” he’d almost said it would be okay, but no one could promise that. “We’ll get you through this.”

Li had never been one to publicly display her deeper emotions, a habit that had grown more prevalent during her years with Sakkath. Now, with Darwin, the floodgates opened and safe in his embrace, she gave in.

* Piper Medical Center *

“Where is she?” Lucius was moving along the main corridor with Kiere at his heels, almost racing to keep up. “Just down near the end,” she answered. “But they think it was just exhaustion and…”

“Wrong answer. Get me whoever is on duty. Now.” He didn’t even look back as he continued on down the corridor. Kiere tapped her comm badge and frantically summoned Earl. “He’ll be right with you Admiral, but --”

“Dismissed,” Lucius ordered. His normal mellow demeanor was nowhere to be seen today and at the command, Kiere scampered off, glad to be elsewhere.

A moment later, Earl intercepted Lucius in the corridor. “Sir, come with me, please,” he adopted the most serious demeanor he could and walked back to his office. He moved behind his desk, the better to have it between him and Li’s dad when he told him what had happened. “Take a seat,” his tone suggested it wasn’t a suggestion.


Lucius looked him over and decided it might be a good idea to follow the suggestion. He sat down on the edge of the chair and cleared his throat. “I was informed Li was brought in almost unconscious? Is that correct? They said exhaustion but I don’t buy that and…” he studied Earl another moment and sighed. “I see that’s not it. The look on your face says otherwise.”

“She was brought in, incoherent and suffering. I sedated her and administered a neural inhibitor to restrict her telepathy. Physically, she’s fine, Lucius. At the moment, she’s under Security’s care, but he’ll return her here once she’s done... something she needed to do. I’ll evaluate her again and determine if she needs to stay overnight.” Earl paused and moved a padd around on his desk, as if unsure where it should be - he knew he wanted it on his side of the desk, not on Lucius’ side. “We’ve learned that Sakkath was killed while on the ice planet. It’s the loss of his presence that caused this ...issue... for Li.”

Lucius rubbed his eyes and let out a slow breath. “That explains it,” he murmured. “I felt something was wrong with her, but I didn’t know what. Dear gods, how is she going to deal with this? Losing a bond that deep can be...problematic, Earl. Does Admiral Wegener know?”

“He knows that I’ve temporarily relieved Li of duty, though I haven’t told him why. Commander Darwin informed Li about half an hour ago.”

“I’ll tell him,” Lucius said. “You said she is in the care of security, where is she now? Why Security?”

“Well...,” Earl hedged, “Commander Darwin, acting Security Chief. Li was insistent that she be allowed to go do something and he’s watching after her. I’m not sure where she was going or what she needed to do.”

“Let loose the storm in private, I suspect,” Lucius replied. “We all know it’s one of the possibilities of life in Starfleet but you never want to see it happen to your kids, Earl. You know she will keep it hidden away and insist on returning to work. Don’t give in.”

“One of the counselors will need to clear her for return to work, so she’ll need a few sessions with one of them,” Earl said. “When she’s back in here, I’ll call you. Unless you want to stay and wait?”

“I need to see Admiral Wegener immediately.” Lucius ran his hand over his face and muttered something incoherent. “Call when she is back, and thank you. I know this can’t be easy for you either.”

“Informing someone of a loved one’s death and watching their grief is never easy, but it’s easier than being the one informed and grieving,” Earl replied. “Go. I’ll call you.”

* Top Of The Station *

“Am I really off duty?” Li asked, her voice muffled against Darwin’s shirt. She had lost all sense of time and had no idea whether they’d been there for minutes or hours. She had calmed a little, at least outwardly, enough to speak coherently.

“Yes,” Darwin nodded, still holding her tightly. They’d sat on the low bench and she was partly in his lap. “Commander Leroy will cover for you, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“I’m not going back to sickbay, not yet,” she said. “So if you intend to stay my shadow, you’d better notify Security you’ll be out for a few hours.”

“I intend to remain your shadow,” he said and tapped his commbadge. He informed the OIC that he’d be out and about, possibly unreachable, till further notice. “Where are we going next?”

“Archadia,” she answered, and tapped her comm badge. “Transporter Room 1, this is Captain Hawke. Two to beam down to Archadia on my signal. Send us to the public station, not the Palace. Initiate transport.”

“Oh shit...,” Darwin muttered as the transporter beam took them.

* Archadia *

They reached the outdoor cafe near the center of town and Li chose a seat that looked out over the street market. After they’d ordered drinks, she removed her uniform jacket since it was so warm leaving herself in just her tank top and pants. A different waiter brought the drinks and he greeted Li formally.

“Hello Jehr,” she answered. “Thank you.”

He looked rather curiously at Darwin, knowing his face, but didn’t ask. Instead, he turned and hurried off.

Darwin wondered about the guy’s curious assessment but figured that, perhaps, the guy recognized him from when he was one of the Prime Minister’s consorts. He looked around at the street market and unconsciously moved his chair closer to Li. He was at his protective best.

“We always meant to take some time off, come down here for a few days and relax,” she said. “As soon as we can arrange the time, or when our schedules allow us both to be gone….the usual excuses when you think you have all the time in the world.” She watched the people milling about the market for a moment then shook her head. “Stupid of us.” She looked back at Darwin now. “I heard Chance and Eli decided to jump down here on the spur of the moment and get married. Take a lesson from them, not me, Dar.”

He stayed silent, thinking of Amber, his former love. He had tried to get her to the altar, but she’d always cited their ranks, their jobs, their responsibilities as reasons why she couldn’t. “It’s not an issue for me right now, Li. Though Oz might try to kick me for letting her kid brother get off the station and get married,” he partly joked.

“He’s an adult, they both are. It was their choice.” Li smiled a moment. “I need to remember to congratulate them when they are back. I need to remember to….” She stopped and frowned. “Something...Kozel will know. He knows everything I’m doing. Tell Patrick.”

“I’m sure Kozel will make certain Patrick knows,” Darwin said, reaching over to put a hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah.” She sipped her drink, then covered his hand with hers. “I can’t sit still. Let’s walk. The beach? And did you happen to bring a hypospray of Lexorin with you? The quiet in my head is getting to be more than I can deal with right now.”

“Not with me, but I can get some,” he said, after he’d worked out in his head that by ‘silence’, Li meant Sakkath’s absence. “There’s a fleet outpost a few blocks from here, then we can go to the beach.” He stood and offered her his hand.

She rose, slipped her hand in his and followed him out into the square.

* Archadia - The Beach *

They had reached the beach and Li had taken a few minutes to duck into one of the changing tents set up by the refreshment stand and change into a pair of shorts. She emerged barefoot and stood as Darwin administered the hypospray.

“Thanks. And thanks for...this.” She motioned between them. “There aren’t many I can ….open up to and most of them are on the Hammond.”

“I know; I don’t recommend you seek out Suresh right now, either.” Li had taken longer than she thought to change - as was the case for most women - and Darwin had had time to change into more appropriate clothing as well. “He’s not real appreciative of our decision to put Six on a patrol ship.” He stored their things in a locker and they set out across the sand.

“As with the boys, she’s an adult and made the choice.” She looked up at Darwin curious now. “Why would I seek out Suresh?” She thought about him, and the trip to Eden and then nodded. “I’m still not sure how to take him sometimes.”

He was surprised by the question. “Oh, I thought... maybe you had gotten close with him. What we have him doing in the Pit does wear on him. He certainly isn’t the insane, cut-throat Suresh we had before.”

“I know and oddly, we are close. I guess I just didn’t think...a little fuzzy I guess. I think seeing me with Suresh has helped cement his reputation. They think he’s still obsessed.” She bent to pick up a shell that glowed a pearly pink in the sun. When the surf flowed in, she dipped the shell in the salty water to rinse it.

Darwin simply waited while she tended to the shell. “Well, sort of. Some of them think that he’s playing you - us, actually. I won’t be surprised, though, when someone takes a swipe at Niro in the Brig.” He took a few steps into the water and let it wash over his toes. “Have you kept up on the reports on Robart, the Orion?”

“I have. Do you think there really is a danger when no one can get in except the few he wants to see?” She studied Darwin’s face and smiled. “Trying to distract me?”

He grinned and looked down at his feet, shuffling them in the wet sand. “Perhaps. I’m confident that our Brig can keep the appropriate people in and the wrong people out, so, no, I don’t think there’s a danger. Though maybe I do wish we weren’t quite so efficient.”

“So do I,” Li answered quietly. The silence stretched out and finally, she spoke. “What do I do now Dar? I’ve been so wrapped up in duty and him and now….work’s all that is left. I’ve not seen you or Jackson and Oz...Leto or Nick….or Suresh….in too long. I was too buried and now I have to come up for air and part of my air is gone.”

“You lean on us. Even if we haven’t seen you in a while - which isn’t true for us, Li - we’re friends.” He took her arm and turned her so they could continue their walk.

“There was always so much to do.” She squeezed his arm gently. “And you got so formal after we got home from Eden, too. I should make sure that doesn’t happen again. I’ve missed you all.”

“You’re the Executive Officer of the Station; being overly familiar with you could cause issues with other personnel,” he said. It was the reason he’d always told himself for his formality. At the moment, he was glad Li couldn’t read his thoughts; one of the real reasons was the Li sometimes reminded him of Amber: dark hair, commanding presence....

“That changes now. I won’t be isolated, Darwin.” The realization that she very well might be hit home and she shivered. “There will be a lot to do when the Hammond returns. Oz may need a vacation even after they restore her. Maybe I can take her away for a few days, down here.” In truth, it might be nice to be needed, at least temporarily.

He shifted and put an arm around her shoulders. “We won’t let you get isolated. I have the feeling that Gilroy and I are going to be sharing the chief position for a while still; Oz will need some time. I’m sure she’ll need you, though you might have to pry her away from Jackson.” He smiled slightly.

“No doubt.” The sun had begun to dip down towards the horizon and Li stopped as the surf washed over her feet. The tide was coming in too. “Do you need to get back? It’s getting late. My father has likely heard by now and will be losing his mind trying to find me.”

“I’ve notified Security that I’m with you. If anyone is looking, they’ll know that. They also know that I’m available if an emergency comes up. All that to say that, no, I don’t need to get back. But if you want to go to your dad, don’t let me hold you up.”

“I can’t go back to my quarters yet, Dar,” she whispered. “He’s too much there and not enough there at the same time.” She brushed back her hair. “I’ll stay down here tonight and call Dad once I’ve settled in somewhere. And Leto. I really should call her too.”

“I told Doc Crane that you’re my responsibility till you return to Piper, Li. We could request quarters at the palace.”

“We could but I’ll note the reason for my stay so Solaana won’t be offended if I am not out socializing. She’ll understand.” They turned to start the walk back. “Thank you.”

“For what?” By his estimation, he hadn’t done anything besides listen. “I’ll comm Edana, too.”

“For the support,” Li answered, then her expression shifted. “Oh, I forgot about Ed! Do you want her to come down?”

“No,” he said quickly, maybe too quickly. He backed off on it, “I mean, no, I’m here for you. With Ed around... well, she doesn’t know you like I do.”

“Very well. Let’s go.” Li was suddenly very tired, too tired to read anything into Darwin’s objection by normal means and with no telepathy, she simply let it go. “I’m ready to be away from the world for a while.”

Noticing that Li was dragging a little bit, Darwin said, “There’s a quiet little inn up ahead. We can get rooms there and order dinner in.” He steered her towards it and, when they got there, took care of arranging rooms and dinner.

***************
Captain Li Hawke
Lt. Commander M. Darwin