These Dreams

Posted on Tue Dec 6th, 2011 @ 6:30pm by Captain Li Hawke

Mission: Sections of the Delta Quadrant
Location: Deck 5320-The Cherry Pit

Li was moving fast, trying her best to avoid thinking, but her mind refused to cooperate. Thoughts were frantic, disjointed and overemotional. Had circumstances been different, that would have amused her. She was Betazoid, emotional was part of her make-up. She was beginning to sound much more like her Vulcan husband, while in private, he was becoming much more free with his emotions. It was a fiery mix. Well, until tonight.

Tonight, he had been off, reacting in odd ways, avoiding her touch, except there at the end of the evening when he had held her too tight, preventing her stepping away. ...no rumour can change the fact that you've always been mine... Those were not Sakkath's words. They had only met a little over a year ago. No, those words were from the dream, an obsessive reaction by Rhys to her thoughts of Sakkath.

She hadn't meant to pull away, it was instinctual, and had angered him. That frightened her more - her husband was rarely angry, but for just an instant she had sensed a thrill running through him, the desire to do more than hold her too tight.

And then he had walked out.

Her husband, the man to whom she was mentally and emotionally bonded, had all but run from her. Her rational mind knew why. He was afraid of giving in to that urge and knew that distance was the better plan. And while it made sense, the emotional side of Li cried out at the very idea. She had tried her best to cover her distress when she stopped into Intel, but Nita had known her too long and could read her too well. She had taken Li's order not to allow Sakkath access to the Intel deck under any circumstances with her usual lack or surprise, but Li could read the shock she felt clearly. No questions had been asked, and Li departed before any could be.

Now, she was alone in the turbolift, descending. Tears stung her eyes and she blinked them back. This was no time to lose focus. She had faced worse in her time, more ominous threats, from someone who professed to love her even. This was different. With Rhys, she had known what he was about and she could look at the situation logically. And she hadn't loved him. That had given her the strength she needed to proceed, the power not to be emotionally involved.

She did not have that choice here. Knowing that deep down, it was not Sakkath's choice didn't help. His shoving her away and departing the Nexus, then closing the bond they shared, played over and over in her mind. Her worst secret fear had come to life.

Slamming her hand against the wall of the turbolift did nothing to ease her. Get a grip, Li. You will solve nothing this way. She needed a clear head, and she just didn't have it. For a moment, she envied Suresh. When he was stressed, he had a way to bliss out completely. Too bad she couldn't induce such peace in herself.

The lift doors opened to Deck 532 and she hurried out. Walking quickly, she stayed to the side corridors, hoping she wouldn't be seen. A small guest quarters was here, one she kept for times she needed to be close to the operation. She could stay there for the night, rest, get her head on straight, then figure this out.

As she rounded the corner, a drunken voice echoed down to her, singing.

Whiskey an' brandy...got an Orion handy...a little green skin....an' a quart of gin...

Li glanced left and right but there was no cross corridor here. She picked up her pace, aiming for the door of her quarters. If his mental state was anything like his singing, he was too far gone to notice her. The singer staggered into view, bottle still in hand and swerved down the hall in her direction.

"Hey, baby! How's about a little drinky, you an' me?" He ricocheted off the wall and moved in her direction. By some miracle, his vision seemed to communicate with his brain for one brief shining moment. His eyes widened and he moved back immediately. "Sorry, gotta go. Don't tell 'im." He hurried off as best he could leaving Li alone. She dashed on down the corridor and into her quarters, locking the door behind her. The man had recognized her. With any luck, he'd either forget he saw her, or keep quiet to avoid accidentally telling Suresh he had propositioned her.

The lights were low in the sparsely furnished quest room. That suited Li just fine. There was a sofa, a desk with terminal, a small bedroom, and a portal on the far wall. The sudden quiet was welcome, wrapping around her protectively. She slipped off her shoes and moved across to the portal, looking out on the vast darkness reaching out to infinity. The countless tiny stars reminded her of one of Sakkath's favorite meditation techniques. He would order his mind, then envision stars speeding by.

With her eyes closed, she pulled up the same mental picture, forcing the other images of him aside as she tried her best to slow down, settle down, think. The situation is at fault, not the man. He's trying to protect you, keep you safe. Her heartbeat began to approach something like normal and her breathing slowed.

Despite the loneliness left behind in the absence of the link to Sakkath, the quiet helped ease her mind. She was used to neutralizing the enemy, taking them out by whatever means necessary. What did she do when the enemy was within her husband? And he was making himself hard to find so that whatever was within him couldn't reach her?

You find whatever it is within him and draw that out. Simple.

And it was. Sakkath wanted distance to protect her, what he carried wanted anything but distance. It wanted Li. And if she lured it out, it would come. Then she would get some answers and end this once and for all. And keep Iggy's sentience intact. It was a tall order, but there was no other solution that was acceptable.

As her meditative state deepened, she reached out to Iggy, sending a warning to stay clear of Sakkath. She then began searching for what remained of Rhys, sending a message in case he was listening through her husband, telling him to come home, that she would be there tomorrow and wanted to see him. Once done, she gave in and began to search for the spark that was Sakkath, just in case he was missing her too. It wasn't the first time she had searched this station mentally, but this time she had no luck. He was shut down tight and despite her extreme focus and effort, there was...nothing.

She continued her search, looking deeper, the room around her fading. Behind her, the door opened enough for a hand to slip through. With a soft grunt, the door was shoved aside and a dark-haired figure stepped in.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Suresh brushed back his long hair, his voice softer than was usual for him as he watched her.

It took a few beats for Li to pull back to herself, to realize someone was in the room. This was not exactly what she wanted right now.

"I wanted to be alone." She left it at that.

"Why?" He pushed away from the wall, letting the door close again, his gaze leveled on her. "Rio let it slip he made a pass at you, and begged for my forgiveness. Imagine my surprise when he confessed and I had no idea that my dream was here. Not that I'm not happy to see you. You should have called." He fell silent behind her.

Li kept her back to him, struggling to keep herself together. "I've had a rough evening is all."

"Oh?" His tone left little doubt of his curiosity. "I thought I made it clear that you were not to go out on calls. No one is allowed to touch you except me. When you allow it that is."

"No one did." That was not exactly the truth, but she wasn't about to get into that.

"Then what happened?" He took a step towards her. "Anything I can do?"

The gentleness of his tone surprised her, caught her off-guard. It wasn't what she expected and it touched her. What an insane night it was - pushed away by her husband, offered assistance by one who cared little for the lives of others. Except her. She knew his soft spots.

"Isha? Tell me."

She shook her head, closing her eyes as the tears stung them once more. Not here, not now.

"No."

"Please." He took another step, hesitated. He knew the rules but she obviously needed comfort and in his mind, that meant him. She was his, after all.

She wrapped her arms round herself, drawing inward. Hearing him move, she shook her head, a clear indication that the rules were still in place. For once he took a stand, ignoring her silent refusal. He reached her, wrapping his arms around her, drawing her back against him. She stiffened and his arms tightened around her.

"Easy. Whatever it is, I can fix it."

"Not this. It's my problem." She wrapped one arm over his and as she leaned back against him, casually reached up to the neckline of her dress, pressing the small comm badge hidden beneath.

"We'll see." He leaned his cheek against her hair, inhaling her scent. "Let me stay. Please."

Li hesitated, then nodded slowly. "I'd like that, Suresh. Why don't you go on in, get comfortable? I'll join you in just a moment."

He smiled, relishing the feel of her skin beneath his hands. "As you wish." WIth a kiss to her cheek, he moved off to the bedroom.

Li resisted a shiver at the kiss and looked back through the portal, hoping Gilroy was moving fast tonight.

*********
Lt. Commander Li Hawke
Still On The Job

Suresh
Betrayed By His Dream