Spiraling

Posted on Sun Apr 1st, 2012 @ 10:55am by http://starbase900.info/index.php/personnel/character/23

Mission: Sections of the Delta Quadrant
Location: One of the many Counseling offices
Timeline: Current

Resting his head in one hand, Connor leaned sideways in the chair and feeling as if his life was spiraling out of control. The moment he left Sickbay that morning after treating Sakkath, he knew he had no desire to return.

Counselor Eliza West noticed the troubled faraway look in the chief medical officer's eyes. "Connor, we need to determine if your feelings of depression are related to your OCD or something separate. You have had bouts of depression with your OCD for years. We have talked about what you have found to be effective for dealing with depressive symptoms in the past. What's different this time?"

"Everything", he said sadly, looking away...at nothing. "This isn't OCD related, not this time..."

"Tell me", Eliza implored softly, searching his face.

"I'm not eating or sleeping well.." He began rubbing his forehead, and stared at the carpeted floor. "I can't concentrate, I am missing things, forgetting things..." his hand moved down to his mouth, "It's only a matter of time before one of my decisions or something I have forgotten kills someone...", he pulled a small flask out of his labcoat pocket and handed it over to her. "I purchased it this morning."

Eliza stared at it, hiding her own concerns, and sat it down on the table between them. "And then you came here.."

He flew up out of his seat, and swung back around to her, "Don't do that, Counselor. I'm not fit for this position. I know it, you know it!"

"I don't know it. Connor, in my opinion you need to take some time off. You've had to deal with alot the past few months."

"I dont want 'time off', Counselor."

"What is it you want?"

"I want to get back to the man I use to be!" he exploded.

Pressing her lips together, she asked him, "Are you referring back to the accident?"

He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I think it's time you let him go, Connor. Accept the man you are now. Cope with your issues, and move forward. I'm going to recommend you take a leave of absence in my report to Cmdr. Swift..."

"Don't bother, Counselor", his voice shook. "I think..I know what I have to do", and with that he turned and left.