In Re: Grief

Posted on Tue Jul 10th, 2012 @ 7:13am by Commander Oralia Zeferino & Ignatius Reilly & Captain Li Hawke

Mission: Sections of the Delta Quadrant
Location: Varies

Not realizing the mistake she was making at the time, Oralia had asked Doctor Harding to restrict her visitor list down to just her new ACSEC, her brother and Jackson. Since her Assistant certainly didn’t need to come make a courtesy call or a professional call, and since Jackson had already made his visit, as had her brother, the restriction left her with very little to do besides mourn the loss of Connor and of her only connection to him.

Earlier, Doctor Harding had been in and said she’d be released soon. Since then, Oz had replicated jeans, a t-shirt (one that had “I should come with a warning label” emblazoned across her breasts) and other necessary clothing and shoes, dressed and done ten circuits of her hospital room. She felt fine... no, she felt caged and ready to be let out. What was Harding waiting on? She did another circuit around her room: from the bed to the chair to the counter and back to the bed.

When the door finally opened (she could have opened it herself, but she was obeying the Doctor, for once in her life), she stood. “Can I... oh, Li!” She smiled at the unexpected sight of the Betazoid. Then the memory of the first time she’d met Li came crashing in on her. She sat down in the chair, heavily. “Oh, Li....”

Li knew immediately what had caused the change in Oz’s reaction; she’d thought of it herself non-stop since Jackson called her. Crossing the room in a few hurried steps, she knelt by the chair and took Oz’s hand.

“I know, honey. How are you?”

It took Oralia several moments to calm her crying down enough that she could answer. “Doctor Harding says I’m just fine, physically,” she answered. “He’s given me the okay to go to work, on desk duty only. I think he knows that even if he said ‘no duty at all’, I’d be in the office anyway.” She managed to chuckle at herself.

Her brow furrowed slightly and she asked, “How is Sakkath? Iggy told me a little bit, but I haven’t seen you or him since.”

Li looked away for a moment, then back. “Physically, he’s fine and is home. Things are a little awkward but we are working on it.” She raised Oz’s hand to her cheek. “I am so sorry, Oz. What can I do?”

Sniffling and holding back tears, Oz shook her head. “I don’t think there’s anything anyone can do, Li. I’ve asked Harding if I can go home and mourn in private.”

“I will be glad to take you home, stay if you need it. At least for a little while. I understand, though, the need for time alone for this. Rhys may have turned out to be...what he was...but I mourned nonetheless.”

Oz shifted and impulsively hugged Li and not just because Li said she’d get her out of here. “I’d like that, thanks.”

“Me too. There’s something...Oz...if you want those memories I hold from Connor, they are yours.” Li’s voice was a whisper as she leaned closer to Oz.

Not knowing what Li was offering, Oz pulled away and shook her head. “I think I have all the memories I need right now,” she admitted. Indeed, at the moment, she thought she had too many. They’d haunted her in this room already, had her crying in a corner at one point. “What memories do you hold from him?”

“What I hold from the rescue trip back to 900. He never could recall what happened on the planet could he?”

“No, he couldn’t. He had little snippets and pieces, but nothing concrete ever ...you have them?” That hit her hard and she sobbed. Moments ticked by before she could speak again. “I didn’t know. I don’t think I could handle them now, Li.”

“I do. Whenever you’re ready.” Li wrapped her arms around Oz, holding her tight. Oz’s tears brought some of her own as she recalled the rescue trip, the hours spent in Connor’s head, the time since, when her own life had gone crazy and he’d been there.

Sniffling again, Oz wiped tears away and joked, “Ugh... keep this up and I’ll end up dehydrated.”

“I can fix that.” Li managed a laugh, then reached for the tissue box. She pulled out one and passed it to Oz, then took one of her own. “I could brighten your day a little and tell you a certain blue fish is in the doghouse.”

That did bring a smile to Oz’s face. She recalled the day she and Li had had sushi and sake at Lao’s, where Li had spotted Suresh, their ‘blue fish’, and given her a rundown on him. “Really? And here I thought he was the big fish, top of the food chain, with no one to report to above him.”

“In the doghouse with me, which is even worse.” Li’s smile lingered a moment. “Want me to break you out of here?”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Oz nodded, ready to get home. When Li moved to the door, Oz followed, pausing only to grab her pips and commbadge.

The door slid open and Ophelia looked in. “Oz, you’re clear for takeoff.” She smiled at her own joke. “Li, so good to see you. Take care of our girl, okay?”

“I intend to. Let’s go Oz, before she changes her mind.”

“Right on your six, Li,” Oz smiled and she and Li headed out. The walk to her quarters was quick and though they both saw people they knew, none seemed to want to stop the pair. News travelled quickly, especially when it was of the heartbreaking kind.

Just as they reached Oz’s door, the door slid open and a black and blue and gold inkspot zoomed out and cried, Oralia! Thoughts flicked by so fast, they were a blur for Oz.

“Iggy! Stop!”

Iggy did and Oz picked her up. “C’mon in, Li. Can I get you anything?” The place was warm and humid, just right for a former resident of a tropical clime.

As Oz readjusted the settings, having not yet set Iggy down, Iggy asked, Can I speak now?

“I didn’t realize you were waiting for permission,” Oz said, surprised. She glanced at Li.

“I’m fine and I managed to catch what she was babbling about. Good to see you again Iggy. We miss you around our place.”

Hello, Li! I have been busy, and worried. They would not let me see you, Oralia.

“You managed to catch that blur?” Oz chuckled and set Iggy on the desk, silently telling the arachnid they’d talk in a bit, when Li went home. “I think all I got was that she’s happy I’m home.”

“That’s good enough. You sit, Oz, can I get you anything?” Li stopped by the desk to offer her hand to Iggy.

Iggy accepted the offer, carefully and slowly crawling up Li’s arm. Oz watched a moment, smiling slightly. “Iggy was looking forward to being the universe’s first talking spider nanny,” she remarked. “Ah, no, Li, I’m good, thank you. Please, have a seat.”

Li crossed slowly and lowered into a chair so as not to dislodge Iggy. “Well, if her heart is set on it, we can send her to Dad and Aia’s now and again.”

Iggy perked up. Could I? I would like to see a fresh hatchling.

Oz had followed Li and sat cross-legged on the couch. Laughing slightly, she asked, “Do you think Aia, or your dad, would allow that?”

“Da maybe, Aia no way.” Li grinned, then her voice softened. “He was asking about you by the way. He would love to see you but if it’s too difficult just now, he will understand. I think if anyone knows what you’re going through it’s him.”

The passed-along gesture touched Oz. She blinked several times and swallowed before nodding, “Maybe in a few days. It’s just a bit raw.” Half-coughing and half-sobbing, she got up, replicated a box of tissues and a mug of spiced hot chocolate. “Hot chocolate? Do you want one, Li?”

“No, I’m good. Sakkath has requested that I meet him at home tonight, which may mean dinner. To be honest, a drink might be better to soothe my nerves, they are a little tight.” The admission was uncharacteristic of Li these days. “But only one.”

“Name it. I have real Cabernet; everything else is replicated.”

“Cabernet is fine, but I can get it. Iggy knows where everything is I’ll bet.” Li stood up from her chair.

Iggy did and quietly directed Li to the appropriate spots for a glass, a corkscrew and the bottle. Oz, meanwhile, returned to the couch. “What has your nerves rattled, Li? Or is it classified?”

Li was quiet as she opened the wine and poured two glasses. Returning to the living room, she passed one to Oz, then sat down once more. “Home. It’s a little...strange yet.”

Having been on the planet during the culmination of the Rhys/Sakkath mindmeld, Oralia wasn’t entirely certain what had transpired. Iggy had told her that she, the arachnid, had been a big damn hero and helped save Sakkath, but, as Oralia knew, the arachnid was developing a tendency to overstate her accomplishments. “I understand that wasn’t helped by Iggy. I apologize for her, Li. If you want to talk about that strangeness, I’m all ears.”

“Quite the contrary.” Li looked down at her glass and bit her lip. “If not for Iggy, I would have lost him altogether, and likely be dead myself.”

Oralia felt a touch of pride radiating off of Iggy; perhaps she was mistaken, then. “Actually, I meant her insistence about mating. She told me about that, so we had a talk about Vulcans,” she smiled slightly. “She’s probably told you already that she’s attending Academy classes. Commander Kit’rin’e offered to include her so that she can learn about other cultures.”

“I think that’s a good idea.” Li noticeably did not comment on the mating and Vulcans issue. It was a very private matter and most wouldn’t believe it anyway if she clarified. “Iggy’s at the point where a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, so she needs more to understand the big picture.”

“Agreed.” Oralia nodded, looking at the topic of their conversation. “If only her last owner could see her now, he’d be having a fit, thinking of all the ways he could have profited from her,” she sipped her wine, having set the hot chocolate aside for later.

“I suspect that if her previous owner saw her now, she would easily outsmart him.” Li took another sip of her wine. “I never properly thanked you Iggy, but you have my eternal gratitude. The breaking of a mating bond with a Vulcan would have been....catastrophic.” More so with her and Sakkath, since it ran far deeper.

Oz watched Iggy. This was the most subdued she’d ever seen her. Not physically; no, physically, the spider could sit still for hours; but chatter-wise, Iggy was strangely quiet. In the past few weeks, when they were both in the apartment, Iggy had kept up a fairly consistent stream of chatter and questions.

Consider it repaid, Li. Without you there to help me awaken, I would still be in a burrow. Iggy brushed lint from one long leg. You are welcome.

Li smiled and reached to her shoulder, gently stroking the spider, then looked to Oz. “What will you do the rest of today?”

She shook her head, “I’m not sure. Check in with Aliso and Gilroy, most likely, then....” Her left shoulder lifted in a shrug. “Chance will likely come over later and keep me company. You probably have a hundred things you need to get to, Li. Please don’t feel obligated to stay and babysit me.” Poor choice of wording.

“I am here because I want to be. It’s been too long Oz, since we took time for us.” Li stopped before she mentioned the last time was the day Suresh had first spotted Oz. “How about I stay long enough to fix you dinner, then I’ll get home in time for whatever Sakkath had planned?”

“Oh, I appreciate the offer, Li, I do. But I’m not hungry. If I do get hungry, I can replicate something.” She smiled and added, “Connor cooked for me all the time. I think he hated my cooking.”

“If you’re sure, then I will get going and let you have some peace and quiet.” Li moved over to Oz, bent down, and hugged her tight. “Call me tomorrow.”

“I will. Thank you, Li.” Oz hugged her back then settled back on the couch as Li saw herself out. With everything in the apartment quiet, she jumped slightly when Iggy appeared on the couch near her, crawling towards her.

This is why you bipeds do not eat your mates, is it not? The pain you feel, which comes from an emotion?

“Yeah, Iggy. Typically, bipeds love their mates and this is how they feel when they lose them.” Iggy was touching her now and Oz knew that meant the spider could read her. “Did you go to class?”

The response that question got was quick-paced and happy. Oh, yes! Your minion, the dark haired male, made certain that I made it on time. Thank you for remembering despite your... what was it?

“Shock. I didn’t take the news of Connor’s death very well at all.”

Ah. Jackson was the only one who would tell me what happened. She went back to her first day of class. The professor, he is very large, Oralia. And a predator. And scary. But he said he will take us on an Ascension. A ship that goes faster than light! Her excitement was contagious and Oz laughed.

_______________
Lt.Commander Li Hawke
Lt.Commander Oralia Zeferino
Student Iggy