Seed Of Doubt

Posted on Wed Dec 26th, 2012 @ 12:06pm by Commander Patrick Leroy

Mission: The Struggle Within
Location: Senior Officers' Quarters

* * * SB900 – Leroy’s family would-be quarters * * *

The briefing with Lieutenant Sukotav over Patrick had been free to cut out some time for himself. Where ‘himself’ was quite the understatement. Reaching the deck where Senior officers’ kept their families he walked straight to the quarters where Aleksandra Levkova from beyond and her daughter had been housed.

The doors hissed open in response to his chiming revealing Amanda waiting right behind them.

“Mom” Patrick exclaimed in surprise.

“Oh… Don’t worry son. My visit here is authorized. Aleksandra asked for that and Commander Swift agreed. Faye knows me. Oh well… The other me as I’ve been explained and the child has been asking for ‘grannie’ for a while now.” Amanda responded giving an answer to all the unspoken questions of his son.

“Oh, all of this sounds so weird… But she’s so cute.” Amanda smiled in the end as she gauged patrick for reaction.

“Yes she is.” Patrick replied his face suddenly seeming sculpted in stone.

“Well it was time you came here.” Amanda said with a bland tone of reprimand “Little Faye’s on a capricious side tonight and won’t get to sleep despite Aleksa’s efforts. She had a little fight with another boy today in the kindergarten. You know how children can get. No, perhaps you don’t.” Amanda advised him with a wise smile “They’re in the bedroom now” Amanda ended nodding slightly to the other room “She wants a lullaby… From her father.”

Patrick nodded slightly.

“Well it’s better for me to go and check on your father. He’s been spending far too much time around Dabo tables these last times. Especially around Dabo girls.”

The doors hissed open again as Amanda took a step towards the exit. Then, stopping in her tracks, she turned and patted gently on his son’s forearm: “I know this is… difficult.”

Closing his eyes Patrick nodded again.

“You should come to visit us, me and your father. It’s been a while now.” Amanda told him slighltly tightening the grip on his forearm.

“I will, as soon as this emergency allows me.” Patrick replied turning to met her gaze. “Me and Kh’ali will come soon.”

“Of course you will.” Amanda acknowledged. “Well, goodnight then.” She responded with a tight smile.
The doors closed behind her the instant she stepped in the corridor.

Looking back Patrick saw Aleksa. She was leaning on the bedroom entrance. “Welcome.” She said a sad smile lining her lips. “Faye’s restless tonight. Would you…?” She hinted at the bedroom.

“I’ll do my best.” Patrick forced himself to smile as he covered the distance from the entrance to the bedroom.
Faye was there, sitting on the bed. Fable books strewn around as she played with them.

Light shone through her eyes when she saw him enter the room. Welcoming him gleefully and flooding him with requests made in that particular language that only less than three years old children can have and that no translator, no matter how sophisticated can really decrypt… Aside their mothers, that is.

Sitting on the chair at the side of the bed, out of the corner of his eyes Patrick got a glimpse of his own spanish guitar leaning on the far side wall.

Following his gaze Aleksa promptly explained: “It isn’t the original one. I replicated it because my Patrick used… Uses it from time to time to make Faye happy.”

Patrick nodded in silence “Will you behave and sleep if daddy sings a song for you?” He asked taking her up from the bed.

Faye nodded happily offering her pinky. Patrick smiled entwining his one with hers in the typical ‘pinky promise’. Kissing the back of her little hand he put her back under the covers getting the chair closer to the bed.

Responding to his nod Aleksa passed him the guitar. It had been quite a while from when he played it last time. He thought to his real one laying dormant in his quarters but when the instrument was set on his lap the gestures needed to tune it up came to him more easily than he could have thought.

“Ready?” He asked Faye who giggled clapping her hands in anticipation.

Smiling Patrick took out from his memory one of his favourite songs from a long past in earthen history. One able to provide as a lullaby… Of the most tender ones.

And again, much to his surprise, from the first notes he tried on the guitar he was amazed how easily the tune came up from his mind and directly to his fingers as they picked the chords to become that very familiar melody:

Baby, I see this world has made you sad
Some people can be bad
The things they do, the things they say
But, baby, I'll wipe away those bitter tears
I'll chase away those restless fears
That turn your blue skies into grey…


Faye was sleeping well far before the last notes were picked out from the guitar. Very slowly Patrick put down the instrument and sneaked out of the bedroom with Aleksa.

“Computer.” Aleksandra said softly “Turn off lights in the bedroom.”

Patrick walked across the living room straight to the replicator. “Spiced wine. Hot.” He ordered.
With the usual chirping sound and swirl of light a cup of smoking wine appeared. Taking it in his hand Patrick sipped deeply from it.

Looking around he scanned the surroundings of the quarters: the plants from Asheara V looming around the portal giving that exotic look to the room. The kind of atmosphere he knew Aleksandra, even the one from this reality, loved so much.

His eyes browsed through the paintings hanging from the walls here and there, some of which he recognized to be his favourites. In a corner his eyes lingered on his old chessboard resting on a table with a half-finished game, like the original one he had in his quarters.

Everything so different from his current situation still everything so strangely familiar…

“Is this our quarters on the other side?” He asked then to Aleksa who had stood in silence watching him.

“Yes.” She answered “It is… It was, exactly like this.”

She stepped closer putting her hands on his chest and shoulders. Feeling him stiffen she stepped back searching for his eyes “Only this is different” She observed sorrowfully.

He avoided her gaze looking to the portal. “I’m striving to find a solution for you and Faye. I… I’ll leave no stone unturned on this. You can believe me”

“I do.” Aleksandra replied ruefully lowering her eyes “You don’t know how much I’m sure of this.” She added then looking up to him again managing a weak smile “That’s exactly what you would do… To the end.”

Silence stood heavily between them for a while before Aleksa dared to reprise.

“SB900 is almost destroyed in my reality. I’ve been missing in action for days after saving Faye, hiding out in the darkest corners of the base cut out from the rest of our people. For what I know… For what I know…” her words trailed off while her lower lip trembled.

“Hey.” Patrick replied taking her hands in his. “I’m not so easy to take out.” He stated hoping to sound more convincing to her than he was to himself.

“All will be well. My other self could even be able to find a solution before I do. Can you imagine what a blow to my pride?” He tried to reassure her striving to hide the nervousness in his smile at the same time.

“Yes I can.” She chuckled softly fighting back the mist coming up in her eyes.

Patrick lifted her chin with a finger. “I always come up with a solution. Always.”

Aleksandra nodded a single tear coming slowly down her cheek. She rested her head on his chest then. This time he let her for a while stroking gently her hair.

“I can’t stop thinking of all of this” She whispered “The quarters, the entire base, you… And what if things on my side…” she stopped to swallow the lump in her throat letting the implications of her words to linger “I’m living a peaceful life on borrow time.” She ended.

Despite his deeply scientific background and widely attributed cynicism a knife driven through his heart would have been less painful

“Sshht… Go to Faye now, she needs you. Try to sleep and don’t think of tomorrow.”


* * * * *

A storm of thoughts accompanied Patrick to the turbolift and even inside it.

“Senior officers’quarters deck” He ordered paying little or no attention to the humming of the lift as it set in motion to the desired destination.

Walking down in the almost deserted corridors of night shift, Patrick thought with anguish to the whole situation he had to deal with now. Realizing for the first time from the break of the catastrophe. How much was he lying to himself thinking perhaps to be the god of sub-spatial rifts, or to Aleksandra promising her that everything would have turned out for the better. When he had absolutely no clue on the situation on the other side of the veil.

To worsen things he felt terribly guilty for the longing he could see in the other Aleksandra well-knowing couldn’t be the harbor she desired for and for the unconditioned love he could benefit now by an innocent girl unsuspecting the truth.

Finding a way to restore things to their right place had become priority now. No matter the cost, he would have found a way to open that door send them back where they did belong to… Recovering Admiral Wegener and Li… And that would have been it.

He stopped in his tracks slamming a fist on the wall. Breathing deeply he focused his eyes on the floor.

Who do you want to fool? Bringing things back to normal as if anything had never happened? What if Kh’ali was proven right in her worries? What then?

Rising his eyes he’d saw the door. Following the flurry of thoughts his feet had brought him right where he wanted to be.

The chime sounded. Again and again.

The doors opened revealing a slumberous Kh’ali, obviously dragged from the bed. She was still rubbing one eye with a hand as she focused the newcomer.

“Patrick? Wha…” Was all she could mutter before Patrick stepped in holding her tight and kissing her.
His effusions frenzied, borne of something akin to desperation and given unreservedly… As if there was no tomorrow…

Before with a hiss the doors barred their world from the rest of the universe.






((OOC: for those who desire to be lullabied (and that love the Dire Straits like me) the link is right here))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxAZUg6AW4w


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Lt. Commander Patrick Leroy
In Dire Need Of Inner Strength

Aleksandra Levkova Beta
Close To Breaking Point