Wool Gathering

Posted on Tue Jan 1st, 2013 @ 5:09pm by Lieutenant Commander Michael Darwin

Mission: The Struggle Within
Location: Alt.Universe

Michael Darwin was accustomed to worry. He worried about the safety of other people and about threats to the people around him; his worry is what made him a good Security officer. He was one who paid attention to the little things. Right now, the little thing he was paying attention to was the way this universe’s Amber L’Berr moved.

Here, she was a civilian, albeit a civilian who’d taken on a Fleet role again since the attacks on the Starbase. She wore mostly black clothing - where it wasn’t black, it was gray from soot and ash or debris dust, and a commbadge. Darwin watched as she tucked a lock of black hair behind an ear and her brow furrowed in concentration. How had this universe’s Darwin gotten so lucky as to have had her here with him? He felt a stab of loss thinking about his own Amber - the Admiral. She’d chosen her career over him and when he’d wanted to stay by her side, rank or no, she’d been blunt with him and signed transfer orders for him.

Looking away down a long row of green plants he couldn’t name, he rubbed his stubble-covered chin and wished he hadn’t let his thoughts go that direction. “Penny for your thoughts,” Amber’s voice surprised him.

Jerking his head around to look at her, he was breathless a moment. Those green eyes and black hair entranced him, as they always had. He had to shake himself. This wasn’t his Amber; this was simply someone who looked identical. He cleared his throat before responding, “Ah... just wool-gathering. I was....” Hell, he could talk to her; he could say all the things he wanted to say to his own Amber. It wasn’t as if it would matter, in the grand scheme of things. “In my world, you’re an admiral. And we aren’t together. But here...?”

She smiled, ruefully, before sitting next to him on the bench. “I wonder how much is the same and how much is different between the worlds. Like Nahi - there, he was already dead; here, he was a traitor before ending up dead.” Fine wrinkles crinkled around the outer edges of her eyes, revealing her age. “Was your Amber a POW?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “They captured her shuttle in a surprise attack, deep in our territory. Had her and several other officers in their territory before we even knew what had happened. She was different after the Federation finally got her back.” He knew the reasons she was different; he’d seen the scars before Fleet doctors had erased them.

“So was I,” she said. “I held onto thoughts of you-- of my Mike-- to get me through it.”

His jaw was tense. “She did, too. And then... she couldn’t separate those thoughts and that time from me and us once she was safe. She was promoted to Admiral.”

“And stayed in Ohmacht while you were transferred to the Delta Quadrant?” At his nod, she nodded, too. “I was lucky, then, I suppose.” Though, now, she questioned that. They knew now that her Darwin was dead, killed by Nahi or one of those he had helped. “I clung to you... I couldn’t, can’t, imagine life without you. I can’t fathom how she gave you up.”

“I couldn’t either, but she did.” He knew his Amber wasn’t happy, too, but there was nothing he could do about it. “So what happened, then?”

“They promoted me. They wanted me to keep leading that war, to use everything I knew, all that hate, to destroy our enemies.” She looked at her hands in her lap. “But I just couldn’t. Mike had been transferred and I followed him. We were married shortly after I got here.”

In that moment, Michael Darwin hated his other self. No, hate was too strong: he intensely envied the man. The dead man. Carefully, he ventured putting a hand on her shoulder, “Amber, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“That’s surreal, coming from you, the man I’ve lost,” she said just before dissolving into tears.

He did the only thing he knew how to do: he pulled her into a hug to hold her and comfort her as she grieved... him. It was a bitter moment: he knew he’d have to release her and then leave her.
____________________
M.Darwin
Amber L'Berr