A Difference Of Opinion

Posted on Sun Jan 13th, 2013 @ 8:27am by Commander Patrick Leroy & Lieutenant Commander Kh'ali

Mission: The Struggle Within
Location: Leroy's Quarters
Timeline: After the post 'The Plan Comes Together'

* * * Patrick’s Quarters * * *

“No you are not.” Patrick said vanishing from her sight as he entered the bathroom.

Kh’ali blinked in surprise at Patrick’s statement about her going with the Hammond. He had never behaved like that with her and while the Klingon part tugged at her from within she kept calm. There was a way to approach this and wringing his neck right at the start probably wasn’t it. She crossed to the bathroom door and spoke.

“Patrick? There is a perfectly good reason I should go.” And she intended to think of it before he came out of the bathroom.

“Yes and what might that be?” he replied rinsing his face “Are you going to tell me that you’ll subdue the other Archadians with a gentle invitation to peace talks? Maybe on the Hammond?” He reached for the towel.

“Well, if they’re as we suspect, I'd be more likely to pummel them into dust.” She crossed her arms. “I can do a lot more than talk and you know it. Besides, the Hammond is still being staffed, so they’ll need to borrow some crew. With Sakkath and Oz running the station, and you needed here to oversee this end of it, I’m the next one down in the chain of command and Commander Davis could use me.” That seemed perfectly logical in her mind.

“I do not see how. The Hammond is going to shift there, quickly search and retrieve our people, leave Aleksandra and the child there, luckily find enough power to shift back. And that’s all.” He left the towel on the sink and exited the bathroom passing in front of her.

“Engineers is what Commander Davis needs. Scientists, perhaps medical. Maybe there is also a little need of security. Really I don’t see where you’d fit in in the whole scenario.”

“And you are forgetting that my specialty at the Academy was science? Perhaps forgetting also my upbringing under the teaching of my father?” She turned as he passed and leaned back against the wall. She knew, of course, what this was about, though neither of them had approached the real issue as yet.

“How long ago? Anything on Quantum Physics? Dimensional and/or Temporal relativity?” He scoffed taking away his shirt. “You could be just a passenger, in a trip that’s not going to be a cruise, if not an obstruction indeed.”

She gave a low growl of warning. “I know that under normal circumstances, you do not think so little of my abilities, so I am going to assume it is stress.” The diplomat was taking over at the moment. “What’s this really about? Fear that I will not return? Worry that I will be within reach of the two who are going back? Tell me, Patrick.” She kept her voice level with some effort. What she really wanted to do was slam him against the wall, hold him there till he agreed but she knew that was purely a Klingon response.

“This has been a long day...” He replied donning a clean shirt “All of these last have been. Preparing all the material and knowledge... Briefing Lt. Riley, convincing Commander Sakkath and playing father in the evening and yes: all of you could not return for a long time if returning at all. This is not a dinner with some diplomatic personality, we’re speaking of real danger here.” He ended coming closer to her.

“Real danger? Do you know what sort of danger we’d be in if my ‘dinner with some diplomatic personality’ went wrong? We might be in the same position the other 900 is now.” The expression in her dark eyes was fiery and fierce.

“Commander Sakkath has been extremely reluctant in giving permission to volunteers to depart, but I’m Chief of Science here and I can have my say on this. You’re not going and that’s it.” He concluded even if his own words seemed to him pretentious, after having suggested for volunteers he was in fact stopping one of them, how incoherent. But that was it.

“That’s it?” She was utterly stunned. “This isn’t a whim, Patrick, this is serious business! The team can use me and you know it.” She reached out, taking hold of his shoulders. “And duty is duty. We can’t shy away simply because it might be dangerous. Look at me! I’m not afraid. The blood that runs in my veins is bred to embrace danger. I am not a fragile, delicate human. This is what I am.” The words came out before she could stop them. She had named no names but it was more than evident what she meant. She hadn’t wanted to compare herself but now Kh’ali had to face the fact that for once in her life, she felt self-conscious about her looks and her heritage where Patrick was concerned. She wanted to go for the missing crew, yes, and she knew this was partly about proving something to herself as well.

He regarded her slightly tilting his head to one side “The team can use any good member of Starfleet,” he responded curtly. “And I know about duty... And I know you’re not afraid, you never are. And I know that your legacy can make you revel in danger. And you’re strong... And beautiful, I know that too, every time my eyes linger on you.”

“Still...” He continued taking her arms off his shoulders. ”You speak as if there was nothing else to care about. Why do you want to go? Why should I let you go?”

“Let me?” She forced herself to take a moment, take a breath, choose better words than the ones that rose to her lips. “How about you tell me why I shouldn’t? Besides the danger issue and without insulting what I do in Starfleet? Please.” Hastily she slipped her hands behind her back to hide the fact that her fists were so tight with the tension her knuckles were white.

“When duty calls there’s no choice. You have to do what is required of you. This is by far accepted the day you enter the academy.” He raised his hand to stroke her cheek with his finger. “But you have a choice here. Is that what you really want? Rushing headlong in search of glory or what else?” He paused looking at an invisible spot behind her for a moment then his eyes returned to meet hers. “And should I stay here just waiting for you?”

Kh’ali’s eyes widened and she found it suddenly hard to breathe. “Just as I awaited you when you were gone to the Divitian homeworld?”

“I never risked my life on the Divitian homeworld. I could have been back anytime. With success or failure as in the end it proved to be. This is not the same thing.”

“No, it isn’t.” She turned and moved away to look out the portal. How could she make him understand her reasons? And in light of his fears, did those reasons matter now? “Patrick, you are my Par’Mach’Kai. You are also not Klingon. Hell, I’m not even completely Klingon. What that means is that, essentially, there are always three people in this relationship. What do I do when the two sides of me are at war?”

“You should know better than any other.” He smiled “You’re the diplomat here.”

“What you said you wanted...I want that too, so much that I would do anything to have it, with you. And part of me feels the need to go, rush out, beat down the enemy as honor demands. I’ve always identified more strongly with the Klingon side, except in the performance of my job, but the Klingon side gets restless. It’s been a long time since I faced that assassin who came when the Divitians did. And there, I failed. He got the better of me. Maybe it’s that, wanting to prove something to myself. Is that wrong?”

“I’ve long since renounced defining what’s wrong or right,” he replied breathing deeply. “Well... I will not restrain you if you really want to go. Think of what I said though. This could be a trip without return or at least with a long time before returning. Anything we want to build has to pass through this before.” The expression in his eyes was sad now. “I think the Hammond will be ready in a couple of days, you’ll have your place onboard and I have something to attend now.”

It wasn’t difficult for Kh’ali to understand he was referring to Faye. “No.” She turned and dashed across the room, taking hold of the front of his uniform jacket. What she saw in his eyes pierced her to the core and she shook her head. “Par’Mach’Kai.” Her voice was soft as she spoke the word again. “That means that it’s not just about me now, but us and those to come. That you understood my reasons is enough.”

He held her tight, the words coming hardly to his mouth. “I don’t want to lose you, and yet I don’t want to make a prisoner of you. So you see? We’re in quite a difficult position here.”

“Not anymore. There are more important things to consider,” she whispered.

“No, you were right. On the Hammond you can help better than any fresh enthusiastic ensign, like those that are applying now, all heart and little experience. And I was denying you everything Starfleet stands for, out of personal interest.” He lifted her chin with a finger. “Everything will be fine, you’ll be back soon...” He ended planting a soft kiss on her forehead.

She hugged him tight for a moment and nodded. “I’ll think about it and give you an answer in the morning. Go, I’ll be here when you get home.”

“There’s no need to rush things.” He answered “And don’t worry.” He kissed her once more “I should go now.”

She watched him exit the room and, when the doors hissed close, she heaved a sigh. Too many questions whirled in her head as she turned to cross towards the sofa. The idea of traveling to the alternate universe was appealing, but Patrick’s fears had taken hold of her as well. What if they couldn’t get home? There was so much here depending on Kh’ali just now, so many things to consider. The Archadian situation was still fragile, so many unanswered questions. She’d received an order to meet with Admiral Hawke as well and it was regarding another diplomatic issue. And then there was Patrick. She stopped at the small bar and poured a glass of wine. It warmed her as it went down and she smiled. Patrick would be home soon and they could forget duty and questions and just be...them.

She stepped away from the bar and the room seemed to shift oddly for a moment. Something rough brushed her cheek and she realized it was the carpet. The carpet? That meant she was on the floor...but how? The glass lay on its side just a few inches from her face, the deep red wine spilled out on the carpet in a dark stain. What had happened? Something was wrong and Kh’ali realized now that Patrick had been mistaken. She suddenly was afraid.

“Patrick?” She called but then knew he had already gone. The dizziness grew worse. Was it perhaps something she’d eaten at the dinner? The memory of the dead queen on the floor of her parlour flashed through Kh’ali’s mind along with their conspiracy concerns. Had she been poisoned? The fear in her rose to panic levels and she reached for her comm badge, though the effort seemed monumental.

“Kh’ali to sickbay. Emergency....beam out.....”

Then everything went black.

*********************


Lt. Cmdr Kh’ali
With Even More To Consider

Lt Cmdr Patrick Leroy
Under Disciplined Torment