Don't Make Me Stop This Ship!

Posted on Wed Sep 4th, 2013 @ 3:43am by Commander Ehlana Winter & Lieutenant Bajun Julisa

Mission: Breaking New Ground
Location: USS Theseus

* * * USS Theseus - En Route To SB900 * * *

"Thank you so much, dear," Earl practically cooed at the server, drawing on his years in the 'Deep South' part of the North American continent on Earth. Fondly, he recalled his years there and the wonderful, gracious hospitality he'd encountered. It was his way of keeping his temper in check, something he was sorely tempted to stop doing. Instead, he wanted to go yell at the Captain of this tugboat and demand to know what was taking so long. Had the man slowed them down? Cranked back on the throttle?

Placid in outer appearance, he sipped the tea the woman had brought him. After a moment, he spotted a friend coming through the doors of the lounge and raised the fingers of one hand in a small greeting. "Did you call her?"

“Left a message.” The tall man who stopped at the table dropped into a chair across from Earl. He pulled his long dark hair back off his shoulders, revealing his ever-present (and large) gold hoop earrings and pointed ears. He slouched back in his chair and stretched his legs out beside the table. “Tell me Earl, did the Romulans invade and monkey around with the Beta Quadrant? ‘Cuz I swear, it seems to be three times as long as the charts claim. You sure we didn’t take a wrong turn and end up in some other universe? I am about ready to stab things.”

The waitress appeared with a drink and set it on the table, giving the man an appreciative and lingering look. He pointed to his glass, then shooed her away with a wave of his hand. Moments later the drink was gone and she was on her way back with a second one.

"My theory is that the captain is taking this deliberately slow. Just to screw with us." Seeing that he wasn't alone in his sense that the trip was taking far too long made him smile just a little. "Just a message? No quality face time? Is she that busy?"

The question got a slight shrug. “From what I gather, she’s taking over for an officer dumb enough to get mixed up in some bad shit and she’s playing cleanup.” He paused as his second drink was left and a quirked eyebrow sent the waitress hurrying away. “She gets all the fun jobs. I tell you Earl, if I have to stay on this ship much longer, I’m going to the bridge and boot somebody off their conn and hit the gas. Warp nine, baby.” He took a sip of his drink and as he lowered the glass, his left foot began to jiggle impatiently.

Solis' definition of 'fun' didn't seem to match up with Earl's. As he watched the man burn off his anxiety one twitch at a time, he lamented the fact that he didn't have prescribing rights on this ship's replicators. "I spoke with Ehlana. It sounds like there've been some strange happenings on SB900. Time anomalies. Maybe we're stuck in one of those," he mused sourly.

“That would explain a lot.” Solis’ frowned a moment as he considered the possibility. “Not like weird stuff hasn’t happened to us before now. That’s life in Starfleet but still….wait, what sort of anomalies?” He sat up and leaned closer to Earl. “Spill it, give me something interesting to think about.”

The older man shrugged. "She was a little vague. People seeing and talking to people who aren't really there, but who are from the past or future." Shaking his head, he grumbled, "Gimme a medical mystery any day."

Solis’ expression darkened. “I agree. I almost lost my head nurse to some temporal weirdness, I had my fill of it then, thanks. I suppose you have too.” He drummed his fingertips on the table and grumbled. “Our ETA is still days away. I have to do something or you and Tammy will have to bind and gag me so we won’t have one pissed off Vulcan raging through the ship. And won’t that get some drawers in a twist?”

"Just don't make the Captain stop the ship," Earl commented, ignoring that his Vulcan friend probably had no familiarity with the parental warning: 'Don't make me stop this car!' Heard so often during road trips. He grinned, recalling how he'd said that often enough to his son. Ehlana had been on one of those trips with him; she had threatened the kid, 'Don't make me come back there.' Now, he and Solis were the ones whining, 'Are we there yet?'

“I’ve been asking that for days. The XO threatened to leave me on an uninhabited planetoid several light years off the beaten path if I asked him again.” He turned his glass slowly with his fingers. “Think of something Earl. We need a distraction. I need one. You know what happens when I get like this…”

"Go meditate," Earl grinned as soon as he'd said that. Solis wasn't the type to meditate. Not unless there was a certain female in his bed - and then he'd meditate on her. That was their problem: their favorite women had been taken on ahead and they had gone too long without them. "Maybe we should have made them sit for a hologram measurement... you know, so we could touch them on the holodeck."

That got an outright laugh from Solis. “Julisa would have two words for that, starting with hell and ending with no.” He propped his chin in his hands with another grumble.

"Yeah..., and it's not like holograms ever feel like the real thing." He glanced at his watch.

“And your point old man?”

Earl's bushy brows rose. "You think I had a point?"

“I figured there was one looming somewhere on the horizon, yes.” Solish sighed and pushed his empty glass away. “Okay, three days. And since you can’t knock me out, short of using blunt objects, we’re going to figure out some way to distract ourselves. And fast.”

"I'm not having sex with you," Earl stared at Solis.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” A young ensign strolled by, curves barely contained by her uniform. Solis’ gaze followed her and it was clear she knew he was watching. “Unless you’re built like her.”

"Not even Julisa is built like her," Earl's tone was wistful as he, too, watched the ensign's sway. He looked at his watch. Again. Not even five minutes had ticked by. "Three days?"

“Three. And I am going to drive you nuts till we land, count on it.” He grinned back at Earl as an idea struck him. “We could go down and annoy Tammie.”

Earl looked stricken by fear. "Ah... That's probably not the best idea. She is rather efficient at getting revenge." He considered the issue at hand. "Holodeck golf?"

“You’re on, no handicap, dinner’s on the winner. Hey, I rhymed!” Solis stood and shook his hair back, then smiled at the young ensign as she made another pass. She looked rather confused that someone of Solis’ species would be smiling.

It was unsettling to Earl, as well. A Vulcan showing emotion... he was more like a Romulan. And Earl didn't trust Romulans. "C'mon, then." He figured it would take him twenty or thirty minutes to trounce Solis. Golf was his game; he'd been playing it for more centuries than he could count.

When the check for dinner came, Earl couldn't understand how it was that he was picking it up.

***************
Lt.Cmdr. Earl D. Crane, MD
Clock-Watcher

Lt. Commander Solis, MD
Setting Sights on 900...Among Other Things