Let's Talk About Spiders

Posted on Thu Jan 23rd, 2014 @ 2:35pm by Ensign Kai Sarkozi & Commander Oralia Zeferino & Lieutenant Oswald Goodshire & Lieutenant JG Quentin Dobry & Ensign Aure'l

Mission: Breaking New Ground
Location: Diplomatic Offices / XO's Office

* * * Diplomatic Offices * * *

“Thank you Aure’l.” Dobry took the padd and glanced over it, skimming the bio of the officer due to arrive in ten minutes. This particular officer was the Chief of Science on the newly attached Ptolemy and was Starfleet’s representative covering Iggy’s case. A smile lit Dobry’s face for a moment. The man had no idea what he was in for.

Aure’l spoke, sharing his thoughts. “Do you think he is ready for this?”

“Him? Why not wonder if Iggy is ready?” At Aure’l’s look he laughed. “Yes, I see your point. Show him in when he gets here.” He turned and retreated into his office.

Several minutes later, a lanky, tall, dark-haired man approached Aure’l. “Ahoy,” he smiled, fully unaware of just how incredibly unsophisticated that word made him sound, “I’m Oz Goodshire, here to examine the sentience applicant.”

She looked him up and down with her usual inscrutable Vulcan expression. “I am Ensign Aure’l, diplomatic staff. Come with me please.” She rose and led him off to Dobry’s office.

She might be Vulcan, but she had a good feminine shape to her and Oz happily trailed behind her. When he found himself in an office, he hoped she was who he’d be dealing with. No such luck: she introduced Dobry and Oz smiled, again saying his own name, “Lieutenant Oswald Goodshire, of the Ptolemy. Is the applicant here?”

“Welcome to 900, Lt. Goodshire. Please have a seat.” Quentin motioned to the chair across from him. “And that is a bit of a story. Iggy was supposed to be here but no, she’s not. We have an away team off to a nearby planet that’s been offered to the Federation for its first Delta Quadrant colony. It was during a communication between Commander Zeferino and her brother, one of the cadets on the team, that we discovered Iggy had stowed away on the Hammond.”

Oz squinted at the man. He was having an issue reconciling the idea of “Iggy” being a ‘she’ and a ‘stowaway’. After all, from the images he’d received so far, the ...thing... was a touch scary-looking. And large. “Why doesn’t Commander Zeferino keep this creature in a cage?”

Amusement lit Quentin’s face as he consulted a padd. “As I recall, she had a terrarium which she simultaneously outgrew and discovered how to exit at about the same time. Thanks to science, they figured out a way for her to activate the automatic doors, since she didn’t trip the electronic eyes as a general rule. She was given a tracker but doesn’t always wear it.”

“So she - it just wanders about unfettered? No leash?” Oswald considered that and shuddered. “How do the hydroponics people keep it out of the hydroponics areas?” He imagined large spider webs dominating the plant areas and keeping pollinators away from the plants.

“Iggy’s not shown much interest in plants. She favors the Nexus Club or visiting with the officers onboard. She’s made incredible progress in a short time, I should warn you.”

“I read the reports. It seems to be an incredibly interesting case. Wait... progress? What sort of progress?”

“Where do I start?” Quentin considered for a moment before continuing. “She has learned to read, she has a repertoire of curse words that is quite impressive, she can outdrink many humans I know and she communicates readily with the station’s telepaths. She was once spider-napped by a collector and rescued. And we’ve not even covered how exactly this came about.”

“Spider-napped? Reads? Telepathic?” If Dobry was thinking Oz looked a touch bewildered, then it was because Oz was extremely bewildered. A sentient spider? Imagine the damage this thing could do in his lab, where he had numerous creepy-crawly insects housed in terrariums. He swallowed stiffly. “But it isn’t here. It’s running around with the Hammond? Isn’t that a security risk?”

“No, this is purely an exploratory mission on a deserted planet. Besides, she’s rather attached to Cadets Conradi and Ziyad. She will stay close to them. Our Chief Diplomat is also on this trip or she would be here to assist you. From what I gather, she and Iggy have an understanding, and Admiral Wegener has also given her limits that must be followed. She can be impetuous, Iggy not Kh’ali, but as I understand it, she has been well-behaved and not violated those limits.”

“Huh,” Oz grunted and gave Dobry a disbelieving stare. “I cannot wait to meet this creature, Lieutenant.”

“Fair warning, she is rather touchy about how she is addressed. ‘Creature’ is likely to get you a very colorful reply.” Quentin laid the padd in his hand aside. “Kh’ali has completed all the necessary steps, it just remains for an outside interview. You, in other words.”

“Yes. It’s sounding like quite the character. Perhaps I should meet with the owner, Commander Zeferino,” he mused. Nodding, he decided, “Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. Maybe the Commander can tell me why the critter has a curse word vocabulary.” He stood to go.

“She, not it. She is extremely sensitive about that. As for her vocabulary, that would be the Admiral’s fault. Don’t ask.” Quentin rose as well. “I’ll send word along to Oz that you are on your way. You can find her in the XO’s office, she is filling in since Captain Hawke is overseeing the station while the Admiral’s on vacation.”

Oz paused. “Oz? That’s Commander Zeferino?”

“Yes. Long-standing nickname. The XO’s office is easy to find but if needed, Aure’l can direct you.”

“Thanks,” Oz tipped an imaginary hat and went out to find Aure’l. He wouldn’t mind following her to the XO’s office.
.
Aure’l was seated at her desk, looking at her terminal. A younger male face looked back.

“You are aware, Eli, that Iggy was scheduled for an interview with a science officer from Starfleet? He is here now and she is not, but inform her that she will be required later today for an interview, long-distance.”

Eli nodded. “I will. I’m sure she’ll be happy to show off her new abilities. Ziyad out.”

Aure’l closed the channel and looked up to Oswald. “The XO’s office?”

He nodded. “Wherever I’d find this Oz, owner of the very strange and scary-looking Ignatius.”

“I will escort you.” She rose and crossed to the doors. “Come with me.”

He snapped his head up to keep her from catching his gaze lower than her shoulders. “Coming right along. So, where do you like to eat here on the Station?”

“That depends on your personal taste. The Promenade has a notable variety of cuisines, including the more exotic ones. You are human, I would suggest the Nexus Club, Lao’s if you prefer Chinese and if you want something more casual, the owner of the Wormhole is from Jamaica. Is that the information you require?”

Well, no..., he thought, but he didn’t know how else to flirt with the Vulcan. “Ah... I suppose. I’ll figure out dinner later; would you like to go with me?”

She regarded him a moment before answering. “If you require a guide to navigate the Promenade, I will assist you. 1900 hours.”

“Wonderful, it’s a date!” Oz beamed at her. “That Nexus Club sounds like a good idea, too. Let’s meet there.”

“Very well. I would suggest more formal attire, however.” Aure’l fell silent as the turbolift halted, then she led the short distance down the corridor to the XO’s office. “You will find the Commander inside.”

“All righty, then. I’ll see you for dinner,” Oz grinned and watched Aure’l as she turned and left. He then approached the XO’s office and was just about to announce himself when the doors shooshed open and a dark-haired woman nearly ran him over.

“Oh! Who are you? Erm... I mean, sorry about that,” she said, gripping his bicep to steady him.

Realizing he’d nearly grabbed inappropriate areas to steady her, and him, Oz shoved his hands in his pockets and stuttered, “I... I’m Oz... um, Oswald Goodshire. Lieutenant.”

Humor infused Oralia’s features; she could see how uncomfortable the man was and it amused her. “Of the Ptolemy,” she said, nodding. “I was expecting you.” She wasn’t about to tell him that she was rushing out to avoid him. “Come in. QD said you have questions for me?”

He followed her in and, mystified, parrotted, “Cutie?”

“What?” She turned and pinned him with a look then laughed, “No, Q. D. - Dobry’s initials. Cutie, that’s funny.”

“Erm... I misheard then, Commander,” he muttered as he took a seat; she’d already walked around the desk and sat in the big chair there. “How did you come to have a spider, especially a Goliath tarantula, for a pet?”

“I didn’t know what she was, at first. She was small. You know, normal spider size. A Ferengi trader in the Beta Quadrant gave her to me. I suppose he knew how big she’d get and what she’d cost to feed and upkeep.”

“Do you think that trader caused what has allegedly happened to it?”

“It?” Her brows went up. Pointing a finger at him, she warned him, “Don’t let Iggs hear you call her an ‘it’. She doesn’t take kindly to that. But, no, I don’t think the trader caused her to gain intelligence. It was the crystal that Leroy has. Iggy’s a bit... she’s a child now, Lieutenant. She wanders off, despite my best efforts to keep her in one place, and she comes back with new knowledge, sometimes knowledge that I really wish she hadn’t acquired, like how to open doors and pull vent covers off the vents or how to swear in a few different languages. The childrens’ school won’t let her take classes with the kids because they’re concerned the kids would be too afraid of Iggy. Instead, Iggy now takes classes with the cadets in the Academy. Some of the material is over her head,” Oz paused on that turn of phrase, “But Chance and Eli help her through some of it.”

“It - she is in the Academy?” The male Oz was astonished.

“Not formally. She just audits the classes, to ease her curiosity and to give me some assurance that she’s not out terrorizing the Station residents or otherwise getting herself into trouble.”

“I really need to meet this creature,” Oswald said.

“Ah... creature?” Oz’s brow rose again as she turned a baleful glare on him. “That’s another really bad word around Iggs. Call her a spider, call her an arachnid, but don’t call her ‘creature’ or ‘thing’. You’ll hurt her feelings.” Her maternal instincts kicked in and she leaned forward a touch. “If you hurt her feelings, you’ll have more to worry about than just Iggy.”

“Ah.” Flustered, Oswald wasn’t sure how to respond. “It...Iggy has feelings?” An internal voice nudged him, reminded him that the Commander had already referred to the spider as a ‘child’. Nodding, he got it. “Oh, um, well, then we’ll... I’ll take that into account, Commander.”

“Good. I think you’ll find that she’s sentient,” Oz said. “Sometimes, too sentient,” she smiled ruefully, “She’s a handful. Figuratively. Literally, she’s two handfuls, maybe more.”

“She must eat a lot, then,” he surmised and frowned.

At first, Oz wasn’t sure why he’d frown, then she recalled: “Oh, you’re an entomologist. Don’t let Iggy see your lab, if you have insects around. She’ll think she’s happened upon a buffet.”

He paled a little. He liked his creatures, particularly Selma, his glass-wing butterfly from Vulcan. “Right.”

Oz hadn’t really paused, though, and she was musing, “Hissing cockroaches used to be a favorite; she liked how juicy they are. Lately, though, it’s mice, which I have an issue with. All the blood and the remaining fur and bones. Ick.” She shuddered and came back to Oswald. “What other questions do you have?”

Creeped out by the idea of mice being a favorite food, Oswald stood and shook his head. “I think that’s it for now, Commander! I should be going,” he asserted a touch too forcefully.

“Of course. Contact me if you need more information.” Bemused, Oz watched him beat a path out her door. “Weirdo,” she muttered under her breath.

_______________
Commander Oralia Zeferino
The Original Oz

Lieutenant Oswald Goodshire
Oz the Usurper

Lt. Quentin Dobry
Arachnid Case Worker

Ensign Aure'l
Tour Guide