Confessions

Posted on Wed May 13th, 2015 @ 11:48pm by Captain Li Hawke & Suresh & Commander Oralia Zeferino

Mission: Breaking New Ground
Location: The cha'Do' - Romulan Space

* * * The cha’Do’ - Romulan Space * * *


“Li!”

Suresh bounded down the stairs, jumping over the last few and landing in the galley. “Where is that orchid?”

Li looked over at him from the cabinet where she was stashing the dishes. “Over there, why?”

“We have to get rid of it. Those things are ticking time-bombs.” He crossed the deck and stopped to examine the flower. “Give me a knife.”

She brought one over and leaned close, watching as he used the knife to gently turn over the leaves. “What are you looking for?”

“That.” He pointed at a row of tiny green spots on the underside of the leaf. “Those will turn red and then release toxic spores into the air. It’ll be a few days before these are ready, thankfully.” He laid down the knife and turned to look down at Li, leaning against the counter. He held her gaze, looking deep before he spoke. “What have you gotten yourself into? If this is from Suresh, he’s not playing around.” That wouldn’t be news to Li of all people, he knew.

It took Li a moment to process the question. Hearing this Suresh mention the other was just a little too surreal.

“Li?” he prompted.

“Sorry, just a second of mental double vision. It was...part of an operation to get to the bottom of a crime wave below the equator, including several murders - along with dragging us to your universe at disruptor-point.”

“Nice little calling card.” Suresh’s voice was laced with sarcasm as he looked at the flower again. “That sort of obsession is crazy and dangerous.”

“You think I don’t know that??” Li took a moment to close her eyes and beat back the chaotic emotions that flashed through her. “Why do you think we’re out here? As long as that man is free, Oz and I will never be at peace. We’ll expect him to turn up any moment to kill her or make me disappear! We can’t live like that!” All the pent-up fear and anger that she’d been holding in spilled over like a waterfall, threatening to drown her.

Suresh reached out, wrapping Li in his arms. “Easy there, Li.” Seeing her so rattled was strange and it made him uneasy. From what he could tell, very little really got to Li but apparently, his nemesis could do it even long distance. “Don’t worry.” Protectiveness for her, and for Oz too, surged within him. “Don’t worry,” he repeated. “I’ll fix it.”

His words instantly carried her back to the night of the old Suresh’s arrest, the night that everything had gone to hell and he’d held her in his arms, said those same words to her. Here was a different man, different circumstances, but the same face and the same words. It was too much and she jumped back as if she’d been shocked.

“I know. We’ll finish it.” She edged away and sat down on a nearby stool.

“Li? What is it?”

“I….I’m sorry. It’s just...something that happened and it’s not you…”

“It’s him,” he finished for her. “I see.”

“No you don’t. It was a horrible night for me and he said those same...it doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault at all.” She looked down at her hands, unable to meet his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” His voice was soft as he stepped up, resting his hand on her shoulder. “For all the heartache he caused. I promise you, I’ll end it. But promise me something. Don’t get in his head if you can avoid it. That’s a hole I don’t think you want to drown in.” He touched her cheek gently, then moved away across the galley. “Get rid of that flower.”

“I will.”

And he was gone, up the stairs to reappear on the upper deck, quiet as he passed Oz. With a silent nod, he stepped into his small cabin and closed the door.

* * *

Down in the galley, Li sat on a stool by the counter, the orchid several feet away. It seemed to be the center of her attention, however, as she sat silent and still in the empty room. They were coming down to the wire and she needed to talk to Oz. She reached out, sensing Oz and, in an uncharacteristic move, silently urged her to come below.

Having felt Li's nudge, Oz entered the galley and immediately noticed the orchid and Li's attention to it. "Can we toss that yet? It loses its beauty thanks to its source."

“That’s the plan. Suresh said that if it stays here much longer, it will release toxic spores. I’m just not sure the recycler is a good idea, it might get into the ship’s systems. It should be okay till we reach Eden.” Li shrugged. “Good thing we have a native along.”

"Toxic! Li!" Oz gingerly grabbed the thing then looked around the galley for a place to stuff it. Not seeing anything out in the open, she opened cabinets and drawers then finally, grumbling, opened the chute to the targ pit and tossed it down there.

Li watched her and finally smiled. “The old Suresh always did have a flair for symbolism. This orchid speaks volumes, Oz, as a reminder of...times past and his intentions for the present.”

"We already knew his intent... Okay, maybe I've just assumed we knew. I assume he wants to kill me, as per his usual desires, and convince you to run off with him, as he always has wanted." Oz gave her friend a strange look, one that involved a furrowed brow, narrowed eyes and a hard frown. It was a fleeting look, gone almost before it was finished. "Sometimes, I'm not sure he'd have to do a whole lot of convincing."

Oz’s words caught Li by surprise. “Meaning? I’m not reading, Oz.” Her voice softened. “Tell me.”

"Sometimes I get the sense that you liked ...I don't know, I'm talking of the top of my head," she shrugged and shook her head. She didn't want to go out on that limb, even though she'd brought it up. "Anyway, um..., Darwin says four hours."

Li was quiet for a few seconds and when she answered, her voice was shaky. “It’s complicated, Oz. Do you know why I pulled out of that operation?”

"His obsession wasn't enough? I imagine that remaining aloof when someone is so hung up on you, even if who they're hung up on isn't really you, would be difficult, Li."

“It was utter hell, Oz.” Li’s voice was only a whisper. “And being in his head, knowing and feeling everything....it’s hard not to be drawn in, at least a little. It wasn’t just being promoted to XO that was the reason. I had to get out.” She shook her head as the memories rose within her. “I could never be unfaithful, not ever. It’s not possible, nor would I want to. I love Sakkath so much that sometimes it’s overwhelming, but….I’m not Vulcan. Passion runs in my blood and it bit me in the ass. I had to….to get away before it ripped me apart.” She felt utterly raw as the words hung between them. “Does that make me an awful person?”

"No, of course not." Oralia hugged Li. "I think only a Vulcan could avoid reciprocating in the face of what you were doing. I know lots of people who think they love their partner only because the partner loves them so much. It's addictive."

Li leaned against Oz, enjoying the comfort. “It never reached that point but it was...it’s hard to explain. This Suresh said that when someone reads you, you get a peek into their head a little too and he’s right. Suresh, the first one, understood me better than I was comfortable with. He was a little part of my thoughts, if that makes sense. I got out before it got to be a problem, but….” She took in a deep breath. “And now, this one’s here, and it’s weird.”

"It is," Oz agreed. "And now you've been inside this Suresh's head, too. In the future, we're getting one of my officers to do that, Li. You need to not do that again."

“At least where Suresh is concerned - either of them. This one is more perceptive, likely because his mind isn’t clouded by obsession. That’s both a blessing and a curse of sorts. He sees things much easier.” A sudden thought struck Li and she sat up straighter. “I want you to promise me something.”

"Depends, what am I promising?"

‘I have no idea how this is going to go but I think it might be better if I link the four of us so we can communicate without him being privy to it. I can subdue him if it comes to that but if I do, I won’t be much good for fighting against him. If I have to, make sure I get out of it. Do what you have to do to end this.” Li held Oz’s gaze, unwavering.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Any of it. Darwin and I have keywords with this Suresh; we can determine who he is with those. Otherwise, we need to go into this as we would any other op. Li, don't go into his head." This last was a plea.

“Only as a last resort, if I have to do it to save one of you.” Li gave a rueful smile. “If it’s any consolation, Suresh said the same only moments ago.” She reached out, took Oz’s face in her hands and looked deep into her eyes. “I promise you one thing….he is not going to end your life. I won’t let that happen. Neither Jackson nor I could take it.There are so few I am close to, Oz, so know this - I’ll do what has to be done. But don’t tell Darwin that.”

"Hey, no, watch out for that - I don't want to have to tell Sakkath I let his wife get hurt. Mentally or physically. Or, oh gods, yer dad, the Admiral. Either of the Admirals." She was half-tempted to drug Li and leave her on the ship, maybe tucked into a weapons closet.

‘I’ll be fine.” Li dropped her hands to her lap. “I want this done so we can get home and figure out what the hell’s going on there. Maybe it will all be over by the time we get back.”

"Maybe. For once, I'm glad Jackson is in the Brig. At least he's safe there and Gilroy can an eye on him."

Li nodded. “You should kick back while you can. I’m going to relieve Darwin shortly, but in the meantime, I need a shower.”

"'kay. Wake me when we're there," Oz stood and headed toward the stairs. "Li, you're my best friend. Don't get hurt."

Li bit her lip and nodded. She rarely gave in to being so open, aside from Sakkath, unless it was Leto...or Oz. “You too Oz. We will get through this.”

Flashing a broad smile at Li, Oz said, "Of course we will." She turned and jogged up the stairs.

*****
Commander Oralia Zeferino
Captain Li Hawke
Baring Souls

Suresh
Seeing Clearly