A Spider's Baby Shower

Posted on Thu Aug 27th, 2015 @ 11:05am by Cadet Senior Grade Eli Ziyad & Lieutenant Eric Edwards & Cadet Senior Grade Chance Conradi & Ignatius Reilly

Mission: Further Challenges
Location: Federation Shuttle Lapidus

=^= U.S.S. Lapidus =^=

Eric yawned audibly in the runabout's cockpit. The past three days had been uneventful, but trying. Eli was still clearly working through leaving his parents in his traitorous brother's hands, and Iggy and Chance were doing everything possible to distract him... Though Iggy wasn't so great with the subtlety, and usually just brought attention right back to the issue at hand.

They weren't far from home now, and the Lieutenant was happy for that. He'd avoided comming Norval, thinking that might be unkind given Eli's situation, but his thoughts were definitely on the Trill. Maybe that was just as bad for a telepath, but Eric couldn't know. "We're entering the system," he announced to the back of the ship. "Just about 90 minutes out at impulse." He throttled back on the engines, and set their approach.

“Why don’t you take a break, Eric, and I’ll finish us out.” Eli appeared in the cockpit. “It’ll be a good distraction anyhow. Have you been listening to their jokes?” He managed a smile and shook his head.

Eric shook his head and stifled a groan. "I stopped listening after 'time's fun when you're having flies,'" he admitted, cracking a grin. He motioned to the seat beside him. "Sit down, you can take us in. I'll play co-pilot for a while."

Eli snorted as he took a seat. “Well, that was one of the good ones,” he commented. A few taps to the console later, he had the shuttle well in hand. “I’ll be glad to be home but it may be short, depending on what they decide to do.” He glanced over to Eric then. “Have you called Norval yet?”

"Nah," Eric replied, "I'll let him know once we've docked." He regarded Eli a moment. "Whatever they decide to do, you should consider the fact that it might not involve you. The whole point of my being here was to keep you safe. And that was before we knew of a plot against you. Doesn't make much sense to send a Cadet back into that..." His tone was apologetic.

“True enough.” Eli nodded. “I suppose we’ll see when we get back home and everyone who needs to be is updated.” Moving on past that subject, he smiled once more. “Besides, Iggy is sure her babies hatched. Should we be having a baby shower or something?”

Iggy had chosen that moment to tune into their conversation. Shower me with babies? That does not sound like fun, Eli. Depending on the size of the babies, I may not be able to avoid being crushed. She shuddered.

From the back, Chance burst out laughing. He'd heard Eli's comment, but it was Iggy's that cracked him up. "Sounds like a great thing to have for Iggy!"

“It’s a party, Iggs. One you have when someone has a baby...or...a few dozen. Everyone brings presents and there’s food and…” He stopped and frowned. “What sort of presents do you bring for spiders? I don’t want to think about the food.”

Chance was moving toward them and answered, "Terrariums? Nice burrowing strata? I wonder how many hatched." He really meant: how many had survived their siblings?

A party? For me? Yes, please! Iggy threw her front legs up, into a position that normally would be threatening, but, in this case, looked like a good approximation of a human throwing his hands in the air. We can have gagh and silk-wrapped flies. Perhaps now Norval will share his worm?

Eli almost choked on his laughter. “Uhh...Iggy? I don’t think a party is the place for that.”

But it could serve more than one, she replied. She'd been told a dozen times that Norval's symbiot wasn't food, but she had kept the idea of "worm" firmly in place and in her world, worms were food.

Eric facepalmed. "Iggs, Norv would very literally die if he shared his worm. I mean that not at all euphemistically," he added for Chance. "The symbiont that lives in his stomach... while, yes, a worm... is a part of him, bonded so intrinsically that it would kill him to be removed, let alone eaten."

He couldn't believe he was explaining the concept of a joined Trill to a sentient spider with two cadets who shared his persuasion. The universe was funny sometimes.

“Which means that we’ll have to find some other delicacy,” Eli joked. “One that can be shared.”

I am sure Oralia can get enough hissing roaches for everyone. They are tasty and juicy. The big ones have a satisfying crunch when you bite into them.

Chance gagged, comically. "Oh, that's one party I can skip."

“Ditto,” Eli agreed. “But I will send a present as soon as I think of something. First up, though, I want to go home and sleep in our own bed.” He shot a glance to Chance.

Chance nodded, a slight beading of sweat dotted his forehead and upper lip as he thought of Eli in bed. He swiped at the sweat and walked to the back of the shuttle then came back. "Did you have to say that?", he growled, feeling a touch needful at the moment.

You poked the bear, Eli, Iggy said. Though Chance couldn't see her, she could see him, fuzzily, by peering over Eric's shoulder from her position on top of his console. Perhaps you should go--

"Iggy! You have children now! Do you want them talking the way you do!", Chance interrupted her, seizing on a safe topic.

The Big Kahuna taught me to talk this way, she sounded vaguely offended.

“Remind me to see him about that,” Eli joked. “Hey do you think the babies will talk? That would be cool.” A thought occurred to Eli and he looked over at Iggy. “I am telling you now, no field trips to our bedroom wall.”

"Eliiii!" Chance whined but was also laughing. He could just see Iggy with her little spiderlings hanging out, critiquing his and Eli's techniques.

How else will they learn how bipeds have sexual relations?, she asked.

"There are plenty of videos in the computer's database," Chance answered, again sweating lightly as he thought about Eli.

“What he said,” Eli added and turned his attention back to the console.

Eric could only smile and shake his head as they counted the minutes, inching ever closer to 900 and home.

**************
Lt. Eric Edwards
Cadet JC Eli Ziyad
Cadet JC Chance Conradi
Ignatius J. Reilly