Road to Recovery

Posted on Sat Oct 31st, 2015 @ 1:08am by Lieutenant Commander Robin Swift M.D., PhD & Lieutenant Riley Sukotav

Mission: Further Challenges
Location: Counselor Swift’s Office

* Counselor Swift’s Office *

Riley entered Robin’s outer office and smiled as he saw Drusilla behind the desk.

“Hi Dru, how are you and Nico?”

“Oh we’re doing well.” She returned Riley’s smile. “What about you? You’re looking good and I’m glad to see that.”

“Thanks. It’s been an interesting road, I’ll say that much.”

Drusilla nodded. “That term is not always a complimentary one, Riley.”

He laughed briefly and shook his head. “No, it’s not. At least Reva’s back home and that’s what matters.”

“Agreed.” She motioned to the inner door. “Robin’s all ready for you, so you can go on in.”

“Thanks.” Riley turned and entered Robin’s consultation room, stopping just inside as the door closed behind him. He knew Robin, of course, but had never seen him professionally, and was curious how this session would go. He realized he’d been standing, lost in his own thoughts and snapped back to the present. “Hi, Dr. Swift.”

“Hello, Riley,” Robin said, standing to greet him. “Come on in, have a seat and get comfortable.”

“Thanks.” He moved over to the sofa and settled down on it. “Thanks, also, for taking the time to see me. Raj thought it might be good since he’s seeing Reva and since he and I, thanks to that whole rescue mission, have become friends. He’s afraid I’ve been...avoiding my own issues because of all of Reva’s problems.”

“Well, we’ll see about that,” Robin said, seating himself again. “Where do you want to start? I don’t know how Raj does things, but I tend to let my patients begin with what’s on their mind and move on from there.”

Riley nodded. “Yeah. So.” He brushed back the errant lock of hair that had fallen over his forehead. “I suppose….if I’m supposed to think about me, then with Six. That’s where life went to hell.”

“Okay, then. Start from the beginning and tell me all about it,” Robin replied. “I know some of the story, but not much. Giving me the whole thing can help in the end.”

Riley pondered just how to start and decided to start where he could recall. “It was with that day it happened. At least that is the first I recall of any of it. I’d had lunch with her and Bryce and heard they were going to the Promenade. Something clicked and I knew I had to get there, that it was time.”

“Did you know why you had to be there?”

“No.” Riley shook his head. “I don’t really recall anything between the Promenade and the Arboretum either, but apparently I went home to get the knife. It was there in a box and I’d never seen it before. Then I was there and I saw her and then I knew. As I told Raj, it was like..I was watching myself. I tried to stop it and couldn’t.”

“Odd,” Robin said, leaning back. “You don’t recall going to get the knife or going to the Arboretum, but you remember the attack.” He thought about that for a moment, then asked, “Was there any point during the attack, or after, that you don’t remember?”

“The time I was missing before it,” he answered. “Nico read me and discovered the programming and the memory block. So I was in the brig, drugged because I was out of my mind with panic and grief. I had no idea if Six was alive or dead.”

“Strange. It seems that whoever programmed you only wanted you to remember certain things, possibly to hurt you as well since you remember the attack but not the preparation for it.”

“It has to do with that stone slab we’ve been working on, Six and I.” He sighed aloud. “IT was a good plan, I have to admit. It would have removed both of us. We’re still looking into that part of the story.”

“What type of stone slab?”

“Ionian,” Riley answered. “Six was translating it and when she resigned, she turned it over to me. It gives details about some hidden artifact that supposedly can undo time. Whoever took me off the station is very interested in it. So, that’s what led to the stabbing. I was not myself in the brig but they decided it wasn’t my fault and released me. Raj took me home and about fifteen minutes later, Robart showed up and dragged us to save Reva.”

Robin made some notes on his PADD. “We will revisit the slab at a later time. But now I want you to tell me about Robart and Reva. And Raj, I guess.”

“He went with me at my request. I was still half-drugged and a complete mess. I was determined to go get Reva back and he knew there was no stopping me so we went. Robart’s ship was the only one fast enough to catch them, and we did.” Riley stopped and closed his eyes. “Do you really need me to tell you what shape Reva and Desta were in? What was being done to them?”

“Eventually, but I have heard of it so it’s not so important at this time. But tell me what happened on the ship?”

“I slept most of the way there, to be honest. Recovery I suppose? Shock? I was a mess but once we caught up to that ship, I guess adrenaline took over. We all transported over and began to search the ship. I found Fisher and Reva in a cargo bay. He’d taken her out of her...her cage and I could see what he intended. I...rushed him and in in the fight, I killed him. It was him or her...then it was him or me.”

“I see. And how did that make you feel?” Robin hated that phrase, but it was one of the staples of psychiatry.

“I don’t really know, Counselor. After that, we got them off that ship and started home. There was a problem in the warp drive and the slave ship blew up with the crew on it. We took off to the colony and the time since? Reva needed me. She had to have surgery to get the shock collar removed and just dealing with everything she lived through. It’s taking some time, as I knew it would. I’m trying to be supportive but not let her hide out, you know?”


“So, you two are...together again, I take it? Or is that incorrect?”

“Yes. She’s had me staying there with her and Desta, short term, while they adjust to being back and get back on their feet. Well, unless I’m on duty. Eventually, the plan is for Desta to move to her own place and Reva will be with me,” he answered.

“It seems to me, Riley, that you are spending an inordinate amount of time taking care of Reva, but other than these sessions, you aren’t looking after your own mental well-being.” Robin stood for a cup of tea. “I respect your willingness to be there for her, but you have also been through quite an ordeal--well, several of them, and need to think about yourself as well.” He turned to his patient. “Tea?”

“Sure, thank you.” Riley frowned as he considered Robin’s comment. “You really think so? It’s just that….what she went through was horrible and not so easy just to jump back into things, though I’m pushing her a little to do that. I was so sure I’d lost her...for several reasons, not just the kidnapping. Now I have her back and things are going well.”

“And what you went through wasn’t horrible?” Robin countered as he handed him a cup. “Sure, it wasn’t slavery, but essentially being held captive in your own body while you assault a close friend is no walk in the park.” Robin took a sip of his tea before sitting again. “Listen, Riley, I think that you really need to focus more on your own ordeal. You can definitely still be there for her, but you can’t just keep putting your own torment on the back burner. It’ll fester and wind up coming out, eventually, as something bad. It’s the kind of thing that can ruin relationships, even those where things are going well.”

“I have talked to Six since I got back,” Riley replied. “I also had a long talk with Suresh and settled things with him. I was worried that he would be outraged at all this and that it might be a real problem, but we worked it out.”

“That’s actually very good. I’m glad you’ve taken those steps,” Robin said, “but there’s more than just making peace with those two. You need to make peace with yourself with what your body did while you were forced to watch, as well as what happened on the ship.” Robin pursed his lips and sighed. “Riley, what you’ve been through is hard to deal with for even the most hardened person. I’ve had Marines and Intel people in here having to sort through things like that, so it really is something we should discuss at some point. However, if you’re not ready to do so now we can take small steps and work up to it.”

Riley frowned for a moment. “How so? You mean what I think about it?”

With a nod, Robin added, “Along with how it affects you, how it affects the way you treat everyone else, if it results in you not being able to sleep--all sorts of things.”

Riley was quiet for a few seconds, then finally nodded. “I do sleep but sometimes I wish I didn’t. I dream about it often. I can see her there, and then the light flashes on the blade and then I can can hear Bryce yelling. Six is bleeding out and then I wake up, struggling to breathe.”

Another nod. “That would be something we need to help you work through. Now I want you to realize that even if we can help subdue this to some degree, you will likely have this dream randomly for a while until you truly move past it. So, don’t expect miracles but I’ll help you for as long as it takes.”

‘Thank you.” Riley was quiet again as he thought about that. “You want to know something weird?”

Robin smirked. “That, my dear Riley, is part of my job.”

“The memories that Nico saw, the ones from when I was missing...there were men in them, dressed like monks. I saw one on the Promenade the other day. I know there's probably a lot of them on this station but still, it just struck me as odd, you know? That night, I dreamed about that. I’m surprised Reva gets any sleep with me tossing and turning.”

Robin made some notes. “If you don’t mind, I’ll pass that information on to security staff. Possibly a long shot, but if people dressed like monks did this to you, or were involved, we should find out. Would that be okay?”

Riley nodded. “Sure.” He looked back at Robin for a moment, then frowned. “Have you ever killed anyone Robin?”

“I have not. However, while serving in Starfleet, it is a possibility that may eventually come.”

“I”m speaking of Fisher, not my attack on Six,” he answered. “I was surprised at how easily it happened, you know? All my time in the Fleet, I’ve been the guy in the lab. I’m not Dae or Nick. I don’t take out bad guys. I never even have contact with bad guys and suddenly, I’m dealing with Niro, and stabbing my friends, and then I’m speeding through space on an Orion ship and killing a slaver to save Reva. What the hell happened to my life?”

“It’s not uncommon, unfortunately, for the most peaceful person to have to defend themselves, or others, to save a life,” Robin replied. “Starfleet realizes that which is why we all, no matter our field in the Fleet, are required to take defensive tactics and weapons training. It’s because we’re explorers and, inevitably, explorers can run into bad people.” He paused a moment. “What I’m getting at is that you don’t have to be Dae or Nick for this to have happened to you. You don’t even have to have been in Starfleet for this to have happened, Riley.”

“I guess, it’s just that suddenly my calm, ordered life went crazy and I’m trying to keep everything together so Reva can get back to normal. She’s suffered too much and I am going to make sure she gets there.” Riley rose and paced across to the portal. “Does that make sense?”

“It makes perfect sense. We all do things to protect our friends and loved ones. But we can’t forget about our own well-being. If you get so wrapped up in making sure Reva is okay, you’ll forget about your own experiences and it will only get worse.”

“So what do I do now?” He looked back to Robin. “Can I be fixed? Raj will tell you what shape I was in when I was released. I’d lost Reva to Niro, at least I thought I had, and then when we really lost her, I didn’t even want to think about anything or do anything. But I have her back and that’s what matters.”

“Having her back is a big step,” Robin said with a smile. “Without her having been returned you would be in much worse shape, I believe. But, to answer your question, yes you can be fixed. If you agree to it, we will just schedule several sessions for you, probably twice a week for now, and we’ll keep working until you feel like you’re in a better way with things.”

“Alright,” Riley agreed. “I think it’s a good idea. I don’t want to burden her any more than I have to, at least for now. Thank you for working me in.” He smiled finally. “Anything else you need from me today?”

“No, not today. I’ll have Drusilla contact you with a planned schedule for your sessions. I’d like to start our next session soon, maybe in three days or so?”

“That sounds fine. I’m on alpha shift usually, but the project I have now is flexible so I can rearrange those days.” Riley crossed back to the doors and stopped. “Robin? Thanks and I think you’re right. I’ll see you soon.”

“Thanks for coming in,” Robin said with a wave. “And don’t worry. We’ll figure all of this out. It will just take a little time.”

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, as they say.” Riley smiled and passed back out through the doors.

**************
PO2 Drusilla Dupree
Lt. Riley Sukotav
Lt. Commander Robin Swift, M.D., Ph.D.