Box Of Memories

Posted on Wed Jan 6th, 2016 @ 1:34am by Indra Nyyar & Lieutenant Commander Michael Darwin
Edited on on Wed Jan 6th, 2016 @ 2:07am

Mission: Further Challenges
Location: Nyyar's Quarters / The Arboretum

* Nyyar’s Quarters *

Nyyar had made her way home on auto-pilot after her dinner with Eldren. She had been thrilled to find a friendly soul and the prospect of an evening out had been exciting. But to find out that he knew who she was, had sat in the forest watching her day in and day out was more than a little overwhelming. The way he’d described her as she was then, making it clear she had been the highlight of his days...well, she had no idea what to make of that. She could see the pain that lingered in him at being unable to come to her aid that fateful day that had changed her life. Add Dolen Vral to the picture and now she began to wonder at the coincidence that brought Amoja Paz into her life as well. The Prophets did work in mysterious ways. But why bring her to Eldren’s domain now? She was seeing him again tomorrow and the thought brought a smile as she and her escorts reached her quarters.

“Good evening Xavier,” she greeted the young man at the door. “You’ll be going home now?”

“Yes ma’am,” he answered. “A package came for you and I put it inside. My apologies but we had to open it and make sure it was nothing that might be a problem. Commander Kh’ali’s orders. It’s fine and on the coffee table.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She watched as he departed and her escorts took up their position at the door. Once inside, she stood looking at the box but afraid to approach it. Xavier hadn’t said who sent it and now she wondered. Perhaps it had been Eldren but she wasn’t so sure about that. It had been deemed safe, however, so she laid her wrap aside and sat down on the sofa. After a deep breath and an effort to calm her anxiety, she opened the box. What she saw there took her breath away and brought tears to her eyes. A large bouquet of familiar yellow flowers lay inside, wrapped in tissue paper. Beside the flowers was a small crystal dish with a lid that held several pink rocks - the river rocks that she’d used to count off the years with Zikar. An envelope was tucked in beside the flowers and she opened it to find a hand-written note inside.

My darling Nyyar, I hope this finds you well. I cannot begin to understand why you left me so unexpectedly. Whatever it was, please know that I want nothing more than to fix it. It’s only been a few weeks but I miss you terribly. I can’t even recall what my life was like before you came into it and I am finding that I don’t like my life now without you. Please come back to me, my love. At least have dinner with me so we can talk and see what may be done. I love you, Z.

Nyyar dropped the note to the table and clamped her hand over her mouth, too late to hold back the sob that escaped her. She recognized immediately that she was standing at the edge of the precipice with a strong wind blowing at her back, threatening to send her over into the abyss. The lure of her old life, the closeness with Zikar, called to her and she could feel herself wavering. She had plenty of people around her but none she could call to talk her down. She had to hold on, be her own lifeline. She focused on that day a year ago, the day that her life had changed for the second time. She could see Zikar’s office, see the young man on the floor and the anger returned, bringing with it a measure of calm. Closing her eyes, she took a few deep breaths and began to settle down.

The terminal at the desk beeped loudly and she yelped aloud in surprise. Immediately the front doors opened and one of the guards looked in.

“Nyyar?”

She waved him away. “I’m fine, the terminal just surprised me, that’s all.” The doors closed and when the terminal beeped again, she hurried over to answer. The face that appeared was Zikar’s and she froze.

"Hello, darling," he smiled, looking her over covetously. "I trust you received my gifts?"

Nyyar’s eyes widened as she looked back at Zikar. Her scattered thoughts whirled around, complete chaos, as she tried to decide what to do. Call Security? It was only a call, nothing they could do and really, all she had to do was reach out, close the channel. Her hands refused to move.

“H-Hello Zikar.”

He loved the effect he was having on her. "Nyyar, meet me so we can discuss this flight of fancy of yours," he said, making his request sound more like an order.

His tone frightened her and she moved back a step. “I don’t know….” she began, then fell silent.

"Sweetheart, please?"

“When?” she asked. His softer tone sounded far more like the man she knew. She was nervous about this idea but after all these years, she owed him an explanation. He deserved that much, especially given their situation. “And where?”

Her answer was unexpected, but thrilled Zikar. "Now? I could come to you."

She wasn’t so sure she wanted him knowing where she lived, or being alone with him, even if Security was outside. “How about the Arboretum?” It was the first place that came to mind, and it was a good one, she thought. Wide open space so her escorts could easily keep track of her, other people around so Zikar wouldn’t be tempted to take her and go, and it kept him away from her quarters. “But you should know that I’ve been assigned a security detail and they will be with me.”

“I am wounded, my love,” he said, lightly touching his chest with one hand. “‘Do you fear me so much that armed guards are necessary in order to take a walk with me? Perhaps, then, we should not get together just now, not if you hate me that much.”

“That’s not it, Zikar.” She didn’t like how noticeably her voice shook. “They will not be so close as to impose on our privacy to talk. But given my status as the wife of a legate, they felt some protection was in order.” It was an outright lie but she hoped it sounded reasonable. “There’s been some unrest here of late.”

“No, Nyyar, they have been assigned to you because you filed an asylum request,” he said, surprising himself with his calm demeanor. “Which worries me, my dear. Why do you need asylum?”

“Maybe we should talk about this when I get to the Arboretum,” she said, sounding far more confident than she felt. “I can be there in fifteen minutes.”

“I’ll meet you there, then,” he agreed and signed off.

The screen went blank and only then did Nyyar sink down into the chair by the desk. She was shaking from head to toe. What had she just agreed to? She knew it was because this was Zikar. He had never raised a hand to her and she had to trust that her Zikar was still there within him. He did deserve an explanation too. That didn’t mean she would be foolish about this. As a safety measure, she sent a message to Kh’ali stating where she would be and that if she didn’t report in within two hours to start looking. Then she rose, checked her appearance in the mirror, and departed, two security officers at her side.

* The Arboretum *

When Nyyar reached the Arboretum, she was relieved to see there were people scattered here and there across the wide green expanse. She took a minute to appreciate the grass, the trees, and the lake she could see off in the distance. It was lovely. An image of Eldren flashed through her mind and she smiled, looking forward to seeing him here tomorrow. Now, however, she had more serious things to face. It took a few seconds before she spotted Zikar near the lake, seated on a large rock.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” she said to the two officers and began the walk across the grass.

One officer looked at the other, shrugged and followed behind Nyyar; their orders hadn’t been to keep her from doing something stupid, just to keep her safe.

Zikar stood as he saw her approaching; he glanced behind her at the two officers in gold and frowned. On Cardassia, he’d have had that uniform stripped off of both.... he shook himself and smiled at Nyyar, no sense in scaring her off.

His smile was rewarded with one of her own. Even now, he could touch her with nothing more than a look. She fought back the natural urge to run to him, throw herself in his arms as she had done so many times. Instead, she stopped a few feet back.

“Hello Zikar.”

“Nyyar,” he took in her dress. One part of him wanted to find the Bajoran she’d worn it for, find him and kill him. Another part simply enjoyed how she looked in it. He closed the distance and noticed that the two gold uniforms reacted by frowning and tensing up; one put a hand on his phaser. Zikar sneered at them over Nyyar’s head. “Come, sit with me and tell me why. Why have we dashed so far across the universe?”

She looked back to the two officers, then settled on the rock beside him. “I dashed across the universe,” she corrected him. “You followed. You didn’t have to come.”

“You are my wife; I love you. You are my life,” he said, taking her hands in his. “How could I not follow you? You didn’t even leave me a clue as to why you left.”

I love you… She’d heard him say it so much and she had always believed him. She believed him now, actually, but that didn’t change things.

“I have loved you for a very long time, Zikar,” she said softly. “Tell me, do you recall my visit to your office a year ago?”

“A year ago?” He shook his head, “I don’t. Did something happen then?”

“It was my only visit there. You asked that I meet you and then we spent the afternoon wandering about the city. When I got there, there was a young man….lying on the floor. Now do you recall?”

He paused, thinking. There’d been many young men. Old men, too; young and old women as well. Really the only ones there hadn’t been any of were children. Slowly, a memory wriggled enough for him to recall - oh, it wasn’t the young man that he recalled - no, it was Nyyar’s sudden coolness that he recalled. She’d been distracted ever since ...“Oh, I do recall. Him? This is all about him? Why?”

“Not him specifically, he is indicative of the larger issue, Zikar.” Her voice shook slightly. “I could hear his screams. There was no one in there with him except you so I had to assume that you….that you…” She stopped and closed her eyes, her body tensing. “The man I knew and loved couldn’t be like that!”

“Like what? Do you assume I tortured that man? My dear,” he let his anger show slightly, “Earlier I teased about being wounded, but now... now, I am! That you would assume such a thing! The man had a medical condition,” he huffed and looked away.

“Then why was he not in a hospital instead of lying there unconscious on your floor?” Her hand tightened on his and she shook her head. “I began to hear things, Zikar, awful things.” She didn’t want to tell him that it had come from the wife of an associate of his. To make that known would likely condemn the woman to death. “I didn’t want to believe them, but….I could only be so blind.”

“What sorts of things did you hear? Who was slandering my work?” He wanted to demand why it mattered; she had loved him just fine before, why would it matter now?

“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “What mattered was that the gentle, loving man I knew was capable of such torture. I tried so hard and I just couldn’t reconcile the two. I didn’t know what to do.” She met his gaze, knowing it might be her undoing, but she’d come this far, all she could do was plow on. “I couldn’t un-hear or un-see what I had learned. I wanted to go back to when things were happy but I just could not.”

He carefully arranged his expression into one of disappointment. “I am dismayed that you would believe gossips over your husband. You never once asked me about these things. Instead, you judged me based upon others’ words,” he stood and took several paces away. “I should have listened to Farak when he told me to simply dismiss you, to not bother chasing after you.”

Her first reaction was dismay but she didn’t give voice to it. Instead, she thought about it rationally and knew he was blowing smoke. Despite his official occupation, she knew him inside out and knew he would never have simply dropped her.

“You couldn’t have. We both know that.” She watched him closely. “I know I should have talked to you. I just didn’t know how to bring it up and it just kept getting worse. Finally, I had to run. I don’t know anyone here but the crew and it’s not going to be easy --”

His anger boiled over and he turned towards her, snapping, “You don’t know anyone here? And yet you’re dressed like a tart! You had dinner with a Bajoran! Did he just magically appear at your table to keep you company? Do not lie to me, Nyyar! Our relationship has always been based upon trust but here you are, having broken that trust. Come home now and I can work towards forgiving you.”

“Forgiving me??” She jumped to her feet and when she saw the security men moving closer, she held up a hand to stop them. “He was a friend of someone I knew on Bajor. I never laid eyes on him till I ran into him here yesterday. That is all I know. I’ve never been unfaithful to you, Zikar.” She stopped and caught her breath. “Perhaps we weren’t ready for this. I’m going. We can try it again another time when we are both not so emotional.”

Steeling himself against the darker emotions he felt and against his weaker impulses, Zikar nodded and agreed, "Indeed. I would offer to walk you back, but it seems you're well covered for companionship."

She had come hoping to see something, at least, of the man she knew. “Zikar? Please...tell me….” What? What did she want to hear? She realized she wanted him to prove to her he wasn’t the awful instrument of torture she had come to believe.

He waited a heartbeat then said, "I am not what you think." Trouble was: he was exactly what she thought. And he was good at it, enjoyed it even, unlike some of his brethren who didn't have the stomach for the more grisly work. But as much as he enjoyed his work, he loved the quiet moments with Nyyar, the gentle touches on her skin, how her hair felt like silk. Those moments gave him balance in his life. "You should know that, Nyyar. I have never hurt you."

She nodded slowly. It was the truth. Even given the times in which he first found her, he’d never, ever hurt her. Her fear had been met with gentleness and love. She felt now as if she might be torn apart. Finally, she closed the distance between them and rested her hands on his back.

“You never have. I am sorry I have hurt you.”

"As am I, my love." He turned to face her, sparing a glance at the two Security officers when they started to react. "End this, please, and come home," he begged.

She hesitated, then took his hand. “Let’s see how it goes, alright?”

"How what goes? We can be on a ship back home by morning." If he ignored that Drekkar and Jarad were on the Station, which he wasn't going to do.

“Not yet.” She looked up, meeting his gaze. “I have to go.”

He tightened his jaw and stepped back, slipping into a formal tone and demeanor with her. "Very well. Sleep well, Nyyar."

“You too.” It was too strange, having him before her and being so distant. She considered herself fortunate that this conversation had gone as well as it had, however. She backed away several steps, and away from the urge to wrap her arms around him as she has so many times. “Good night.” Finally, she turned and began the walk back towards the two Fleet officers.

Zikar watched her go for a long moment. One thing he saw in her future: ankle shackles. He could never again trust her not to bolt. Thinking about where to secure the chain in their home on Cardassia, he began his walk back to guest quarters.

*************
Indra Nyyar
Legate Zikar
The Dance Begins