Virgin Pina Coladas

Posted on Sun Mar 20th, 2016 @ 6:07pm by Commander Oralia Zeferino & Ignatius Reilly & Captain Li Hawke

Mission: Further Challenges
Location: Archadia

* Archadia *

“Would you please hush?”, Oralia asked Ignatius. “Good lord, I’m not sure you’ve had a minute of silence since I picked you up at Sciences!”

Well, so much has happened! And I had to tell you about it all, Iggy replied, unhurt by Oz’s shushing. I want to tell you all about everything!

“Iggs, I was there, remember?”

Sure, for some of it. You were not there when Ian scanned Jerry and found that the nanites were ...as he put it, ‘Beefing up stuff’ in Jerry.

“Jerry? You mean the baby daddy?” Oz had stopped walking, making the woman behind her curse and divert around her. “Why are there nanites in Jerry?”

Because I bit him and put them there. She was a little worried that Oz hadn’t put that together for herself. Are you okay? We are tilting, Oralia. ORALIA!

“Shush, we’re not falling,” the human said. She’d bent over, breathing and swallowing hard. Now, she gingerly put her butt on a low fence. “You... Iggy? You bit Jerry and put nanites in him? What were you thinking?” She was thinking that giving Iggy Borg tech was a bit like handing a toddler a lighter and a firework: eventually, someone was going to get hurt.

I wanted to see if the nanites could get Jerry to talk. Iggy shifted on Oralia’s shoulders. Do not give me a firework. Those things explode; scary.

Snickering lightly, Oralia nodded, “No worries kiddo. I doubt the nanites can increase Jerry’s base intelligence, though.” She stood and started walking again. They’d reach Suresh’s villa in another minute or so.

I should have known that - he is male, after all - but I had hope.

“Well, time will tell, I suppose. Unless Ian gets the nanites out.” The rest of their walk was quiet, right up till Iggy sensed Li nearby.

LI!

I am on the patio, Iggs, came Li’s mental answer. I’m on the patio in the back. Welcome Oz. You two get yourselves back here. I made pina coladas.

Is some of that virgin?, Oralia asked as she entered the villa and tossed her bag on a couch. She walked through to the back patio. “Iggs, here,” she took Iggy from her shoulder and set her on the warm colored tiles.

True to the thought, Li had a pitcher of pina coladas on ice, two glasses and a dish, as well as plenty of snacks. She hugged Oz, passed her a glass, then put Iggy’s dish under the table in the shade.

“Why? You on the wagon this weekend?”

“No, for the little one,” Oralia said, gesturing at Ignatius with a finger.

Hey! I am not... okay, so, sizewise, I am the smallest present in most groups, but I have children! Therefore, I am an adult, Iggy sounded slightly offended, though she wasn’t.

Li grabbed the dish, emptied it out and refilled it. “How’s the recovery coming? For both of you?” Li stretched out on one of the lounge chairs. “Relax and I want to hear all about it.” Then I have something funny to tell you, Oz.

“My recovery is done. I could go back to work tomorrow, but Harding is being cautious and is making me take a few additional days. For Iggy’s, when I picked her up this morning, Ian said she’s good to go. She’ll have nanites for ever after, and she needs to molt to regain her natural exoskeleton, but otherwise she’s fine. She bit her babydaddy, Jerry, to see if the nanites would help make him smart.” Oz laughed and sipped the drink Li had given her. She looked down, under the table, in time to see Iggy shaking liquid off of her tarsi.

At the moment, I have holes in my exoskeleton. They are from where the Borg drones attached a large cannon to my back, along with a sighting scope and some structural buttresses so the gun did not crush me.

“You’ll soon be back to rights Iggy, but no more biting Jerry, huh?” Li now turned a concerned eye on Oz. “No nanites for you? The last report I saw was regarding Patrick and Bryce, but that was an early one so I have no idea what’s happened since. When Earl put me off duty, he cut off everything but my ability to control the lights in my quarters and lock the door.”

“No nanites. They filtered them from my blood and tissues, so I’m fully human again, thankfully,” Oralia toasted that idea. “All hail the doctors on the Station and Hammond. Bryce is doing well, as is Patrick. There are a few issues with Patrick, but nothing major. It’s Dae who is having some real problems. His eyesight was damaged; he’ll need nanites to upkeep the replacement tissue.”

“Ohh ouch. Have you seen him? How’s he taking it?” LI reached for the pitcher on the small table between them, then leaned over to refill Oz’s glass, then her own. “I’ll go see him as soon as we’re back. As for you missy, I’m glad you’re back in one piece and down here drinking in the sun with me. Which brings me to the funny bit.”

“There’s something funny about us in the sun?”

“No, about us in general.” Li took a sip, then set the drink down. “You know Max came down with me last night, yes? He left this morning but we had a long talk on the beach at dawn and you came up in the conversation.”

“Max...,” Oz mused on the name then nodded. “I met him yesterday. Was the reference to me good or bad?”

Pphshaw, as if it could be good. They were talking about you, Oralia, not me, Iggy chimed in. Oz leaned forward to eye the spider.

Iggy’s comment got a snicker from Li. “I was telling Max how much I’d missed my friends and how I knew I’d grown a little...distant over the past few years. He saw in my mind snatches of images...time spent with you at the cabana, dinners, our old wine evenings, you get the idea. I miss those a lot. But then he looked at me and asked me point blank if you and I were intimate.”

A strange sound came from under the table: a light chuffing sound accompanied by a louder clicking noise. Oz again looked and saw that the clicking was Iggy tapping her legs on the tile; the chuffing was her version of laughing. Oz was also laughing. Between breaths, she asked, “Really? Intimate? Oh... Li, no offense, but I have a thing about men. Besides... can you imagine what Jackson would do?”

“That’s exactly what I said!” Li was laughing till she had to wipe her eyes. “He said he didn’t care but I think that deep down, he was relieved. He’s already nursing a little jealousy of Darwin.”

“Oh... yeah, what the hell? How was he?”

“Darwin?” Li’s laughter settled into a sly smile. “It’s a long story. Let’s just say that he got me through my craziness without stopping to worry about any danger to himself. Make no mistake, there was some. But he...Darwin is….amazing. In a lot of ways.”

Oz’s grin was sly. “I always thought he would be. He’s so damned cocky.”

Ignatius chided her, Oralia, he is your minion. I saw him before he left for his vacation; he had thoughts about sailboats and solitude in his head.

“Super secret spy over there,” Oz muttered to Li.

“No kidding,” Li agreed. “After what he went through, I can certainly understand his desire for solitude and having no one in his thoughts but himself.”

“Including an inquisitive spider,” Oralia said. “Well, good on him. His promotion is well deserved. Hey, is the water warm enough to swim?”

“It is. We can go dive in but I need to ask you something first.” Li reached for her drink and had another sip. “It’s rather personal but I need some...guidance.”

“We’ve known each other long enough and well enough, ask away, Li.” Oz sipped the cold drink and lounged back in the chair, letting the sun warm her.

“After you lost Connor, how long….” Li pursed her lips a moment before diving on in. “How long was it before you and Jackson began to see each other for real?”

“Not long. But, Li, Connor and I were falling apart before he was killed. I had made the decision to live without either of them--”

It was going to be the three of us - you, baby and me - and that would have been just fine, Ignatius interrupted.

“--ah... yeah, what the thing with the eight legs said. But then Connor was killed and everything changed. Jackson comforted me, even though he was on the verge of starting something with that hostess... what was her name?”

Cassie, came Iggy’s answer. She was the elephant in the room: she seemed to never forget anything.

“Right, Cassie.” Oz nodded. “He went off to Archadia with her right after Connor’s death. When he came back, nearly dead, we didn’t lose any time after that.”

“It tends to put things in perspective,” Li agreed. “Sokar said that I can’t live in the past or the future. One’s gone and the other may never get here.” She fell silent as she watched Iggy sip from her dish. “I figured you would understand that better than anyone.”

“I do. Grab things with both hands. Or, in Iggy’s case, four legs, two fangs and some silk. It’s why I never laid into Iggs for going off and making an egg sac.”

“I get that, I do. I’m taking a little time to see where I am now that I’m on my own again, though. There’s some people I want to spend time with that I’ve been missing. Like you two….Leto, Jackson...and an old friend of mine who’s on the station now- Louie. I think it will reassure Max that he’s not just filling a Sakkath-sized hole.”

Iggy narrowed her communication and asked just Oralia, Where is this Sakkath-sized hole? Is it where--, Iggy passed Oz an image of what she was thinking.

“NO!” Oralia shouted, surprising herself. She started coughing then took a moment to catch her breath. She was coughing and laughing and having a tough time catching her breath. “Li... Did you just catch that? I'm sorry, it's not funny, not really, but it is, too. Oh... Poor literal Ignatius,” she got her laughing and coughing under control. “It's metaphorical, Iggs, not a real hole. Really, if I were Max, I might be worried about measuring up to Darwin. You know, Darwin-sized hole...,” she gave Li a lascivious wink.

Now Li did choke on her drink, then joined in the laughter. “You two are incorrigible. Don’t ever change. Max just wanted to make sure it was him for the right reasons. In his shoes, I would wonder too. But Darwin….I’ll just leave that one alone.” She grinned back at Oz. ”No kissing and telling Iggy.”

I don't kiss anyone.

“She bites,” Oz said. “He's an old family friend, right? You were pining after him... No, you weren't - his brother chased you down, tried to kill you in a jealous rage, then you married Sakkath, Max’s brother nearly killed him --”

I brought him back from his coma, Ignatius chimed in, reminding Oralia that no matter how much Oz had liked Sakkath, Ignatius had, oddly, been far, far closer to the man. It was horribly ironic that Iggy was, in some ways, responsible for Sakkath’s death.

“-- what Iggy said. Then you had some peace with Sakkath.” Oralia paused, coughed once, and winced as a pain ran along her side. It was there then gone. “And now he's here. Huh. Maybe you should take a week or more, settle into being you without Sakkath or Rhys or any other influencer around. Except me and Iggy; we're not influences; we’re bad examples.”

Speak for yourself!

“I could use some bad influences for a change.” Li hadn’t missed Oz’s expression of pain. “Something wrong I need to know about?”

“Hmm? Oh,” Oz realized she meant her grimace. “No, I'm fine. Doc Solis said to expect random moments as things finish settling in as part of the recovery process. Apparently some nerves have to reconnect themselves instead of being regenerated.” She shrugged it off. “A swim? It’s beautiful and warm. Plus, I want to see if Iggy will still float after her pina colada bath.” She looked under the table. Ignatius had coconut flakes in her hair and on her belly and back; she looked like she was suffering from giant dandruff.

“Certainly.” Li drained her glass and stood. She was in her swimsuit but reached over to pick up her shirt that had her comm badge attached and draped it over her shoulder. “Ready when you girls are.”

“Lemme change real quick and I’ll join you in the water,” Oralia said, heading off to grab her bag and disappear into a bathroom. Several minutes later, she walked down to the beach and laughed as Ignatius scuttled away from the water.

Nope, nope, nope, Iggy said.

“Afraid of getting wet?”, Oz asked. “You can climb on my shoulders and stay with me. Come up,” she picked Iggy up and waded in to join Li. “This is better than a holodeck.”

“It is. It was nice of Suresh to offer when I told him you and I wanted to spend a few days down here.” A wave rolled in a knee height and she yelped as it splashed her stomach. “Alright, time to just get it over with.” She dove beneath the next swell and then popped to the surface and brushed her wet hair back.

Are you going to do that, Oralia? I am afraid the water may flood my exoskeleton through the nanite holes if you do that.

“You can float on the water while I do that,” Oralia said, dipping down so that Iggy’s bottommost legs got wet.

Augh! Wet! I am wet!

“Shush, we’re --,” she interrupted herself with a bout of coughing. When she stopped, she was out of breath and feeling shaky. “-- fine.” She looked at Li and shook her head slightly.

“What’s going on Oz?” Li moved back towards the shore. “Was this happening up on the station?”

“No, it wasn’t. I’ve been a little tired, but... that’s to be expected.” She started coughing again, this time wincing in pain as a pain lanced through her left side.

Iggy spoke up, I smell blood, Oralia. She was clinging to Oz’s hair and bikini straps to avoid being shaken into the water.

Oz nodded and looked at her hand; she’d coughed up blood. “Li? Wanna call Piper?”

Li reached them and wrapped her arm around Oz from behind. “Let’s get back to solid ground. Hang on Iggy.” Here the water was shallow enough that Li could walk and float Oz as they made their way back to the sand. She removed Iggy and set her down, settled Oz on the wet sand and reached for her badge.

“Captain Hawke to Piper. This is a medical emergency. Three to beam out on my signal from Archadia. The emergency is Commander Zeferino. Notify Jackson.”

=^= Acknowledged. =^=

Moments later, the three of them vanished from the beach.

****************
Commander Oralia Zeferino
Ignatius J. Reilly
Captain Li Hawke