Delicately Berating the Admiral

Posted on Sun Jul 1st, 2012 @ 9:46pm by Commander Oralia Zeferino & Ignatius Reilly & Admiral Ricky Wegener

Mission: Sections of the Delta Quadrant
Location: Varies

* * Oralia’s Quarters * *

Looking in the mirror at her image, Oz turned this way and that, hoping that her newly discovered condition wouldn’t reveal itself to anyone else just yet. Behind her, Iggy, sucking on a grasshopper, spoke up, I can tell. But only because you taste different.

“Gosh, thanks,” Oz sarcastically answered. Considering how myopic the arachnid was, any visual assessment from her was pointless. After smoothing her dress down in the front for the hundredth time, Oz sighed and decided to just try to relax.

As if.

“Iggster, you need to stay here.”

Why?

“Because... because I said you do,” Oz turned to look at Iggy and realized just how like a parent she sounded.

Fuck that! I’ll do what I want! Iggy imitated a piece of 21st century pop culture Darwin had exposed her to.

“Hey! We talked about the language!”

Fine. Iggy deflated and settled in to finish her snack while Oz went on an errand that weighed heavily on her mind.


* * Admiral’s Office * *

After the normal cat-and-mouse that was played between Lt. Beckman and the visitor, to see if Rick was available, Oz was admitted into the office and was sitting across the desk from Rick.

“If I didn’t say it earlier, Oz, you look very nice in the dress. You clean up pretty good.” He smiled. While he was vastly her superior, he still enjoyed being able to talk to his subordinates in a way that was a bit more informal.

Nervous, she smiled tightly. “Thank you, Admiral. I took today off to see about some personal ...things... that are going on and I need to speak with you about two of those things. The first of those is my spider, Ignatius.” She paused and stared at the Admiral for a moment. It was a trick she was learning from Iggy. “I understand that you’ve had a few... interesting run-ins with her.”

"I have," Rick said, unflinching from the glare she gave him. "She likes to sneak into my quarters by means that I haven't figured out yet. But we usually wind up having some interesting conversation."

Smiling as charmingly as she could, Oz chose her words carefully: “Yeah... I’ve assigned a pair of NCOs to figure out how she’s been able to get into certain places. I know an engineer got a good scare when she ran across him in a jeffries tube.” She winced, recalling that particular Security call. “But I’ve since put a computer chip on her so the computer can locate her. We shouldn’t have too many more surprises like that.” She hoped.

Shifting in her seat, she moved on to a much more uncomfortable Iggy-related topic. “It’s the ...subject matter of your latest conversation with Ignatius, Admiral, that concerns me the most,” this was Oz at her diplomatic best, “I just don’t think that teaching her foul language is a good idea.”

Rick smiled. "Somehow I knew that one would come back on me, however, she had quite a good vocabulary started on her own. But, and I'm not sure if she told you this bit, but I had the computer read aloud to her the common uses of cursing and when it is and is not appropriate." He leaned back in his large chair. "See, her issue was that she spouted out the words like it was breath leaving her body. I wanted to make sure she was schooled on how not to use them as well."

“That’s not a lesson she took away with her, Admiral. She’s like a toddler who’s learned new words and just wants to use them. Granted, thanks to Mr. Banning, she is getting a handle on how to use them,” Oz sighed and rubbed her forehead briefly before smiling slightly at the Admiral. “Having her as a pet is a touch difficult; it’s sort of like having a very precocious child. I’d appreciate it if, next time, you left her with a catalog of... I don’t know, anything but curse words?” She wasn’t even going to ask the Admiral not to get Iggy drunk again; that was a small battle compared to Iggy’s vocabulary.

Rick looked down and then back to Oz. "You know, it's not every day that a Vice Admiral apologizes to anyone, let alone a Lieutenant Commander, but in this instance you are very right to be a bit upset. I'm sorry." He stood and walked around the desk to sit next to her.

"However, I think you underestimate Iggy. You compare her to a toddler, but I don't think that association is correct. Before the cursing started, and just in the past bit where she has become sentient and able to speak to...well, us, she already had a command of the language and understanding of quite a bit. Sure, she doesn't fully understand things like what kilometers or light years are, but she understands a great deal more than you realize." He smiled. "I think this would be more akin to meeting a new alien race and having to explain our ways to them while we understand theirs."

“Yes, I’ve had to read up on the whole “eating the mate” concept, just to know where she’s coming from on that,” Oz shook her head in amusement. “Perhaps I haven’t spent enough time with her around others. With me... she’s... my pet.” Only she wasn’t, and Oz was starting to realize that. “Of course, what sort of society keeps sentient beings as pets?”

"The way I see it, and this is me playing Devil's Advocate, humans have kept sentient beings as pets for years. Dogs and cats...they are self-aware, they know where they are, where they belong, who they're familiar with...but communication with their 'owner'," he said using air quotes, "was the biggest hurdle. But, that's just my opinion on it. And I think that, while she started out as a pet that you may have picked up at a store somewhere, Ignatius J. Reilly is no longer just a spider. She is able to communicate with us in a unique manner. Hell, Oz, we may have to see about getting her recognized by the Federation."

“Recognized...?” The idea shocked her, then it opened more questions. “Would we have to assign her her own quarters? Offer her counsel the next time we put her in the Brig?” She stopped the runaway train of worry that started. “I should have given her a better name.”

"I kinda' like the sound of Ignatius," he replied. "If we're to call her sentient, then we have to realize that certain rights go along with that," Rick said, now pinching the bridge of his nose realizing just what type of paperwork would be involved. "Housing would be up to her. If she wanted to stay with you, get her own place, hang out in the arboretum--whatever, it would be her choice. She'll always be attached to you, Oz, so she may want to stick close. But this is all something that we're going to have to work out sooner or later."

“Probably sooner rather than later, Admiral,” Oz said then, after a deep breath, added, “I’m pregnant.”

That one took Rick by surprise. "Well--um, I guess congratulations are in order? How far along?"

“Not far, the doctor said just under four weeks,” she admitted. Her skin prickled as her nervousness caused a physical reaction. Making herself smile as genuinely as possible, she added, “That was my second thing I wanted to tell you, Admiral.” Her thoughts switched back to the spider, “Could I enroll Ignatius in school? Or get a tutor for her?”

"How about we stick with a tutor, at least until she understands that cursing, especially in front of children, is not a good thing."

Nodding, Oz agreed, “Okay. Having her teach children” (she almost said: ‘other children’) “foul language would be a very bad thing. I’ll make those arrangements today; perhaps having her curiosity satisfied by a tutor will keep her from roaming the halls and jeffries tubes. Or from coming to you for beer and a lesson.”

He chuckled. "I actually wouldn't mind if she came for a beer on occasion--announced ahead of time, obviously. But she's actually quite fun to talk to, and the whole bit about talking to an enormous spider won't get old soon."

He would have invited Oz as well, but theirs was a different relationship. Admirals didn't have their officers up for drinks unless it was all of them at the same time. If it was one at a time, it would have to be fairly formal and work-related, which was pretty much defeating the purpose.

Oz loosened up for a moment, smiled broadly and patted the Admiral’s hand, “Well, Sir, I’m sure we can arrange a playdate or two for you and my spider.” She grinned then stood. “I appreciate your time, Sir, and I’ll let you get back to business now.”

He stood with her. "I'll be putting out a notice to all personnel on the base, fleet and civilian, about Iggy. It really isn't fair for her to encounter such responses from everyone simply because they don't know who, or what, she is." Walking her to the door he added, "I'll get that out right away, with an image of her, and let everyone know of her new abilities."

Before she left, he touched her elbow, not wanting to get too personal. "And again, congratulations on the pregnancy."

“Thank you, Admiral,” Oz caught his gaze for a just a moment and smiled before leaving his office.

_______________
Admiral Ricky Wegener
Scolded Admiral

Lieutenant Commander Oralia Zeferino
Owner (Parent?) of a Sentient Being