From Inaction to Action

Posted on Thu Jul 5th, 2012 @ 6:55pm by Commander Oralia Zeferino & Ignatius Reilly & Jackson Banning V

Mission: Sections of the Delta Quadrant
Location: Varies

OOC: Very long post; should be two or three, but... meh. Oz



* * * Jackson’s Quarters * * *

Jackson made it to the turbolift, the greetings as he crossed the Promenade unheard, blotted out by the roaring in his ears. Oz’s words ran on a continuous loop in his head.

...leaving a pregnant girl behind....

He wanted to scream, bellow, hit things. He had to do something. The lift seemed to take forever, then conversely he was in his quarters, not entirely certain how he’d gotten there. The doors closed behind him and he bent over as a cry ripped through his chest, emerging and echoing through the room. His mind was in a whirl and he couldn’t latch onto one comprehensible thought in the chaos. Only that one word echoed over and over with any sort of clarity.

Pregnant.

It was the end of his hopes, held so long within him, even when it looked as if there was no hope. There was always that spark glowing, the fire between him and Oz at their occasional meetings. And now he’d lost her.

Did you ever really have her?

It was Jan’s voice whispering in his mind. How often had she warned him? Advised him that there was pain, insisted he get out of that triangle? He’d been so sure he was finally managing it, putting distance there, and now...this. The pain was unbearable, which told him he’d only been fooling himself. He hadn’t really stepped aside, not in his heart.

“NO!”

He lurched forward, crashing into the end table and turning it over on its side. The coffee table was next, the book that had rested there sent flying. The sofa slid askew and the carnage continued. Furniture overturned, various items of decor tossed, a crystal flung at the wall. In short order, the living room was utterly trashed and Jackson slid down to the floor, his back to the wall, heat pounding in his face, eyes stinging as the tears flowed.

Finally there was quiet, and in that calm moment, his inner voice spoke.

She’s Oz. No matter what happens, she is still your friend, and she needs you. You need yourself as well. It’s time you told let her know you’ve not turned your back on her, but you have to finally come clean. Tell her what you’ve held in so long. Do it, or you’ll go nuts.

His little voice was right of course. He stood, tucked his shirt back in and hurried from the mess that was his living room.

* * Oralia's Quarters * *

Curious, Iggy the arachnid watched her guardian, Oralia, as the biped lay on her bed. Iggy knew that Oz was simply staring at the ceiling; the spider had crawled up there, confirmed Oralia’s eyes were open and that there was nothing much interesting in that particular spot. She wasn’t sure what Oz was doing; Oz hadn’t spoken to her since she’d come back and stripped her red dress off. The dress had had a variety of tastes on it; Iggy had been distracted by it while Oz disappeared into the bathroom. By the time Iggy had finished examining the dress and gotten herself disentangled from the thing, Oralia had been lying on the bed, hands laced over her belly, staring at nothing in particular.

Now, she crept closer to the biped and slowly, leg by leg, moved on top of her chest. Here, she could feel Oz’s emotions with ease, without even trying. They were not good. They were distressing, to say the least. Concerned now, Iggy leaned forward slightly and touched Oz’s face with a tarsus. Oralia?

Oz’s eyes shifted to look at Iggy and she drew a deep breath. Iggy’s size belied her weight; she was large, but she was actually quite light, tipping the scales at a bit under a kilo. Her weight didn’t impede Oz’s breathing. “You were right, Iggy. Eat the male when he’s done. Have no drama. Simple.”

Yes. They are a necessary source of protein.

Oz giggled; the idea of Connor being reduced to a mere source of protein tickled her suddenly. She floated amongst her thoughts for a moment, trying to sort out what she was feeling, what she no longer needed, no longer wanted, would no longer stand by and take. It wasn’t just Connor and Jackson in her head; it was also Suresh and the Archadian Summit, the explosion on the planet, the number of minor crimes South of the Equator and in the Cherry Pit, her vague unease with Lieutenant Chase and a hundred other little things that tangled and twisted together.

Iggy cut through everything, You are a mother. That is all you need to be concerned about now. Leave the males behind. You and I will tend to the infant.

“You do realize that the baby, at birth, will weigh more than you do?” An image of Iggy attempting to hold a human infant came to mind; the infant crushed Iggy.

Quiet contemplation came from the spider then she replied, Perhaps, then, during the initial hatchling stage, I cannot be of much aid, but once it can walk on its own...?

“Let’s not discuss it, Iggy.” Not now, Oralia said and lapsed back into her pseudo-meditative state. Iggy stayed right where she was, content to eavesdrop on Oralia’s thoughts and swirling emotions. The answer was obvious to Iggy; she let Oralia come around to it by herself. Before Oz came to a decision, though, the doorbell chimed. Iggy quickly moved off of Oz and headed for the door, calling back, I got this!

“No! Ugh,” Oz sighed and lay back. She really didn’t want visitors, not now. “Iggy! Don’t open that door!”

Too late! Indeed, the arachnid had keyed open the door, admitting... Jackson! How nice of you to come visit!

In the bedroom, there was a sudden flurry of movement, heard rather than seen, and then Oz appeared in the doorway. Unlike earlier, when she was a devil in a red dress, now she was merely disheveled in flannel pajamas.

“Thank you Iggy.” He spoke to the spider, though his eyes were locked on Oz. “Can you excuse us please?” Something in Jackson’s tone was more serious than Iggy had ever heard. His voice was tense and his eyes were still red and over-bright.

Iggy shifted in a way that let Oralia know she was waiting for Oz’s permission. Oz nodded, “Go on, Iggster. The promenade should be interesting this time of night.” With a small mental woot, Iggy disappeared out the still open doorway and down the hall.

Oz, who was looking puffy around the eyes, warily faced Jackson. “Seemed to me you said everything you needed to say in your office, Jackson.” She bit the side of her tongue to keep from breaking into tears again.

“No, I didn’t.” He closed his own eyes for a moment, fighting for control. When he continued, his voice had lost the strain, as if just seeing her had eased it. Now it was soft, husky with emotion. “I was just too shocked I guess, too surprised, and you didn’t wanna hear it anyway. Then, I went home and broke down. And somewhere in the bottom of that pit, I realized I was a fool, Oz.”

“Funny, at the bottom of mine, I, too, realized that most men are just that,” her words were clipped and her voice icy. She was in full “protect Oz” mode. Without knowing where he was going with this visit, she was going to stay as emotionless as possible. “And now you’re here to continue lecturing me? Telling me that I need to control my own destiny and start being proactive? I don’t need a life coach.”

“No. You’re a grown woman and don’t need that repeated. What I’m here for is to explain why I said what I just did, then do somethin’ about it.” He fell silent and began to approach her with slow, measured steps.

She watched him move towards her and wondered just what the hell he was doing. Was he a threat? No, not Jackson. Then again, he did rather look like a tiger stalking its dinner. “I didn’t need it said in the first place.” But maybe she had needed it said; his words had given her some harsh things to think about.

“Yes you did, and we both know that.” He stopped before her and let out a slow breath. “When I said I discovered I was a fool, I meant it. For almost two years, Oz, we’ve been doin’ this dance. Over and over. Tryin’ to ignore each other, tryin’ to keep our distance, tryin’ to avoid givin’ in even when it was burnin’ us both up inside. Even that day you kissed me in my office, I made myself not give in. For too long, I’ve been ignorin’ who I am, locked it away and stepped aside like some valiant white knight because I thought someone else was better for you. In doin’ that, not only did I lose you, but I began to lose myself. I can’t be somethin’ I’m not, and I can’t not be who I am.”

He was too close, too tempting, too damned.... Oz stepped back, lest she give them both cause for more grief. She held onto her anger, used it to keep from breaking down. “That’s good, Jackson. Be who you are,” her tone was almost mocking, “And I will be what I’ve been before. So you’ve made this discovery, this... decision. Why are you here, Jackson? You said it in your office - it’s too late for us. I’ve made my bed; Connor made his, too.”

“You’re wrong, Oz. I have to get my self-respect back. I tried to be there for you, to lend an ear for you but I ended up being the one trampled underfoot, the one trying to shove what I wanted aside. I took the easy way out and tried to distance myself so I’d stop hurtin’. It didn’t work. And tonight....your news... I felt as if I’d been run through with a sword. All the hopes were dashed and I said what I thought I had to, to keep myself together. A child...that seemed to end any hopes I ever had and I ran off, gave in and finally let out all the pain and grief. I thought I’d shatter Oz. And then, at rock bottom, I found what I’d been missin’.”

This was a conversation Oralia did not want to have. This was a serious, feelings out on the sleeve, please don’t tromp on ‘em discussion. And what would it result in? Heartache. Unfulfilled lust. Continued angst. Worse, Jackson was referring to some horrible things she’d done to him, the things she never meant to hurt him with. She wanted to look away from him but couldn’t. Her shield of anger slipped slightly. “How are you going to get your self-respect back?” It seemed the only thing he could have realized was missing.

“Well, tellin’ ya what I just did was a start. I realized I was tossin’ what I wanted aside and gettin’ hit with the fallout from you an’ Connor. And that’s not who I am. I’ve always been a strong man, Oz. One willin’ to go after what I wanted. You know what that is, you want it as much as I do. I said earlier that I can’t be the buffer anymore, can’t be the one ya run to when things with him are not good. I want to be the one you are good with. You know as well as I do this is where it is.”

What she knew was that if he so much as touched her... she wasn’t sure what she’d do, actually. Run and lock herself in the bathroom? That seemed likely, all things considered. Still, his voice, his words, him... she wanted him, wanted him to be the... To be what, exactly? Step-daddy to another man’s child? A one-night roll in the hay? “I don’t, Jackson,” she started and tears immediately welled in her eyes, “I … I mean I do, but I can’t, not now. I’ll be a mother soon; that comes first now. You, Connor,” she shook her head, “I need to be alone for awhile. Find where I am and you’re both a distraction.”

“I understand that. I wanted to have the chance to say all I wanted to say, so that you’d know completely where I am.” He took her face in his hands gently. “Tell me Oz.”

“Tell you?” She pulled away from his hands, though not from him. “Tell you what, Jackson? That I’d give anything for us to resolve this by going to bed right now? That I really wish you hadn’t sent Iggy away? That I’m angry that it took you this long to....” She stopped right there. Not because she wasn’t irritated, but because her choice of words had been about to be: ‘...grow a pair?’. Probably not the best thing to say right now. Quietly, she admitted the worst one: “That I’m not sure I want Connor to show up because it will mean all kinds of difficult conversations and decisions?”

“It took me this long? You’ve known since you arrived. You made your choice at the time and I tried to get over it. You knew I hadn’t. I can’t let it go without bein’ completely open with you.” His expression was tender as he looked down at her. “At least now it’s crystal clear for you.”

“Crystal clear for me?” She looked at him like he was crazy and moved away from him, to the center of the room. “It’s clear as mud! I mean, I get what you’re saying Jackson, I do. But... the timing sucks! I’m pregnant with Connor’s child; he’s disappeared on a ‘walkabout’; and...,” she stopped and sighed. She needed to talk with Connor before doing anything, making any decisions. “We have both known, Jackson. We’ve both had chances and backed away. But now? It’s bad timing. None of us win.”

“As I said earlier, you have to focus on you now. It’s time, Oz, that you took charge of your life. No one else can do it for you. And yes, our timing’s awful. Maybe our past decisions screwed us, but there’s no goin’ back. You need to figure out what is best for you and do it and to hell with what anyone else thinks. As for me, I should take my own advice and do the same. But at least the air is clear an’ ya know I am not turnin’ my back on you.”

“I am doing what’s best for this child. Which means that you have to leave, Jackson. When, if... Connor shows up, …,” she frowned, clearly frustrated. “No one wins. No one gets the girl; the girl doesn’t get a guy. She just gets a kid.” Had Jackson been telepathic, or if Iggy had been in the room, either would have taken notice of the terror that followed that idea. “And a talking spider for a nanny.”

“Just remember you are not alone, no matter what you may think right now. You have all of us. You have Li...or even Robin.” He took her hand and raised it to his lips. “Call if you need me.” Then he turned and crossed the room, passing through the doors while he still had his composure and the willpower to do so.

Left alone, Oz sank down onto her couch. Several minutes later, her door opened again and she looked up. Then down: Iggy was back. “That was a quick trip.”

I got as far as the turbolift and returned.

“Oh.” Oz decided not to ask for any further explanation. “Iggy? I need you to do a favor.” She noticed the spider had turned and was patiently waiting for her to continue. “Go find Connor.” It was what she’d told Connor she would do if he went too long without contacting her.

No.

“What?” That wasn’t an answer she’d expected.

What part of ‘no’ did you not understand?

Blinking, Oz stared at Iggy. “That’s it, you’ve been around Darwin too much!”

I will not go locate the male. He has caused you more than enough problems. You know this; you already made a decision to live without him and without Jackson. That is a sound decision. Iggy walked away to the bedroom, leaving Oz more than slightly shocked by the little arachnid’s resolve.

It was an example to mimic. Jackson’s example was, as well. She needed her self-respect back.

* * 0300 Hours, Security Offices * *

“Commander Zeferino!” Chief Petty Officer Ganesh sounded surprised to see the Chief of Security out and about at this hour of the night. He sounded that way because he was surprised.

“Ganesh, round up a team of ten, your discretion. Be ready in ten minutes,” Oralia ordered as she walked past him into her office. Once there, she pulled up her roster of personnel and began shifting people around. The task would take her longer than ten minutes, though.

When Ganesh had his ten assembled, Oz greeted each by name then gave her orders, “You eleven are to spend the remainder of this evening in either Saturnalia in the Cherry Pit or in one of the other not-so-pleasant establishments in that area. Do not drink. Do not gamble. Do not engage with Seyla or any of her girls. I shouldn’t need to warn you what else not to do.” She stopped as a hand tentatively went up. “Yes?”

“Uh, Commander? What are we to do, then?”

“Be there, be seen, be into other people’s business, particularly if that business appears illegal or shady. Confiscate any contraband you see, smell or hear. Arrest anyone who even looks like he might be about to start a fight. Arrest anyone who appears inebriated.” Oz, who’d been pacing in front of the assembled team, paused in front of one young Crewman, “Do you know what inebriated means, Crewman Cooper?”

“Yes, Ma’am. Means ‘drunk’,” the kid answered and smiled.

“Good. If you think someone might have a medical condition that needs treatment, have them escorted to Piper Medical or to the Detention Center, their choice. Those are the only two options. In the Detention Center, we’ll have Starfleet Medical tend to them. Any other questions?”

No one spoke up or raised a hand, so Oz nodded at them. To Ganesh, she said, “Just two establishments tonight; split the team as you see fit. Call for more if you find that’s not enough. Suresh likes to do business in Saturnalia; disrupt that as best you can without giving the barkeep reason to evict you.”

“Yes, Commander,” Ganesh signalled to his team and they headed out. Oz headed back into her office. Ten minutes later, having accomplished very little on her rearrangement of her personnel, she came back out of her office and headed for Deck 532.

* * Deck 532, Saturnalia * *

Not taking any chances, Oralia had picked up two of her own on her way down to the Cherry Pit. Now, as they stepped off the turbolift and glanced about, Oz could see a few sneers tossed their way. Those didn’t bother her; they were the reaction she was expecting. Though SB900 was a Starfleet-run base, it was inhabited by all sorts: Delta Quadrant natives seeking either sanctuary or profit from the Federation; Beta, Gamma and Alpha Quadrant natives seeking profit or, more likely, running from trouble in their own Quadrants. Of those four groups, typically not a single one of them wanted anything to do with Starfleet Security; the majority wanted Security to stay away far away from decks in the 529 to 534 range.

Oz wasn’t going to oblige ‘em any longer. She’d always had Security personnel posted on these decks, but, she had recently come to the decision that that presence was either too small or too infrequent. Probably both. As she and her two officers walked through the Cherry Pit’s main corridors, she could see some folks packing up their activities and moving elsewhere. One or two denizens nodded at her; some just stared, as if attempting to mark her with an evil eye or something. She shook her head and kept moving.

The trio did a patrol around the main corridors and ended up at the doors of Saturnalia. Just as Oralia reached for the handle, the doors opened and an obviously drunk Denobulan was directed through the opening by two officers in Security gold. “Oh, Commander. We didn’t realize you would be here as well.” It was the kid, Cooper, she’d spoken to earlier. “This is our fourth arrest,” he beamed proudly. Oz returned his grin. “Good, keep it up.”

She turned to move past Cooper but then reconsidered. “Actually, it’s been a long night,” she told the two with her, “I’m heading back to my office. Keep me updated.” The two nodded then the three parted ways.

________________________
Ignatius
Sassin’ Back

Oralia Zeferino
More Than a Little Shocked

Jackson Banning V
Looking For Equilibrium