Looking Back And Forward

Posted on Sun Jun 7th, 2015 @ 4:04am by Lieutenant Commander Robin Swift M.D., PhD & Niall Sala Ph.D.

USS Cooper

Niall looked up as yet another assistant stopped at the small office he occupied on the Cooper, with yet another message. “Thank you, Lani.”

“You’re welcome, Dr. Sala. The pilot says we will reach SB900 in twenty minutes.”

Niall glanced over the message and managed to keep the smile from his face. It was from Admiral Hawke, a short welcome message and an invitation for drinks once Niall had time to settle in.

“Very well. Once we arrive, you can see that my luggage is arranged and send my quarters location. I have a meeting with an old acquaintance I’ve not seen in years and would rather not be disturbed otherwise unless you have to do so.”

“Yes sir.” Lani gave Niall an appreciative glance that went unnoticed, then scurried out. Already Niall was replying to Lucius’ message, then sending another. Once that was done, he checked the location of the temporary offices he’d requested on the Promenade and turned off the terminal. The remaining minutes were given over to a memory of another time and place and a familiar face.

SB900 - Docking Bay

Since Niall was on official business for Starfleet, he’d accepted the offer of transport on a Fleet vessel. His own would be arriving in another week but he had friends aboard the Cooper and it was a good chance to catch up with them during the trip. It now docked in the Fleet area and soon, he emerged on the deck, pausing to look over the crew moving back and forth in their various duties. Lani appeared, put a padd in his hand with his quarters assignment on it and continued on without a word. Niall was impressed and made a mental note to tell her, once she slowed down enough that he could do so. He watched her go, then his other two assistants followed in her footsteps. After them came the crew of the Cooper. Several wished Niall well and he nodded. Finally, he crossed the deck and moved on down the way to check in.

Counselor Swift’s Quarters

With the day finally done, Robin had decided on take out from Ha’Dara, where he’d eaten a few days ago with Nico. The Bajoran food he’d sampled had been fantastic and he’d been craving more since then. Seated at his kitchen table he’d only taken off his tunic before sitting to eat. However, as it always seems to happen, he’d barely taken two bites when the chime rang at the door. He wasn’t expecting anyone and had forgotten about the message he’d received earlier.

He stood at the door and a small chill ran through him. Dismissing it as an oddity of human physiology, he opened the door. Another chill hit him, causing goosebumps to form on his skin.

“Good evening, Counselor Swift. It’s been a long time.” Niall offered his hand. “Am I interrupting? I just arrived and if another time is better, please don’t be afraid to say so.”

Robin swallowed hard and took a moment before he realized there was a hand just hanging in mid-air for him. Finally he took it and shook it briefly. “Ah...no, no,” he said, letting go of his hand, “as long as you don’t mind that I’m eating dinner? Come in, please.”

“I don’t mind at all. Thank you.” Niall stepped in and sniffed the air. “Bajoran. Good choice.”

Robin closed the door and, to be honest, was unsure of how this encounter was going to go. He was an acquaintance, really, but had been a good friend to Stephen, Robin’s deceased husband. And seeing Niall brought back all sorts of memories that he wasn’t in the mindset to deal with at the moment. But Robin was nothing if not a good host.

“Would you like something to eat, or a beverage?” he asked. “I would feel a bit awkward eating without at least offering. Unfortunately it would have to be replicated. I apologize for that.”

In the corner of the living room, just beyond the sofa, Robin could hear a low growl. “Freya, that’s enough,” he said sternly. Speaking to a cat sternly, however, never seemed to work. They always had a mind of their own. “Sorry about that. My cat, Freya. She’s wary of visitors she doesn’t know.”

“Come coffee will be fine, thank you Robin. It’s been a long day and it’s far from over yet.” Niall turned his attention to the cat. “I can imagine that life out here is an interesting one for her.”

“At least once a week I take her to the holodeck,” Robin said as he ordered a black coffee from the replicator. “I was concerned that she wouldn’t be able to perceive anything there, but she seems to enjoy it rather well.” He turned with the mug in hand and stopped short. “I’m sorry, did you want black? I should have asked.”

“I did. Please, get back to your dinner. I promise not to hold it against you if you talk and chew at the same time.” Niall’s smile was brief. He reached for the mug and had a sip. “Very good.”

“So what brings you all the way out here?” Robin asked, completely blanking on whether or not Niall had included that information in his message.

Niall followed Robin back to the table and sat down across from him. “The new colony. My company has been retained to consult on the design and construction of it. It’s the same thing I did for the Fleet for years but now I travel just a little less. At least I can recall where I am from day to day now.”

Robin had seated himself again and taken a bite while Niall spoke. He swallowed, followed up with a sip of white wine and set his fork down. “Sounds like a daunting task, but from what I recall, you’re well prepared for it. I hope things go smoothly for you there.”

As if something had possessed her, Freya bolted at full speed from behind her hiding spot between the couch and wall and zipped past the both of them into the back bedroom. Robin sighed but said nothing about it.

Niall watched her go, then looked back to Robin. “I gather you don’t have company often.” It was, perhaps, a gentle opener to address the elephant in the room. He took another sip of coffee.

“On occasion, but not often.” He started to say more but decided to continue eating instead.

When Niall spoke, his voice had softened considerably. “I know it’s been a long time and I know that I am, perhaps, a reminder of times past. I suppose I wanted to see you for myself and make sure you’re getting along alright. From what I hear, you are doing amazingly well professionally. Stephen would be proud of you.”

Setting the fork down again, Robin stared at his plate. All of the concern he’d felt when he read the message from Niall was weighing on him now. The doctor hadn’t come here to rub salt in old wounds or cause any undue stress to Robin. It was just an old acquaintance stopping by to say hello. But, oh the baggage that came along with it…

He wiped his mouth and placed the napkin back in his lap. “Thank you, Doctor Sala. I like to think he would be as well. His death is why I actually became a psychiatrist, and why I decided to venture out into space instead of trying to remain on Earth. I’d much rather have kept him by my side, but I like to think that I honor him by doing what I do.”

“I can understand that.” Niall was quiet for a few seconds as he considered Robin’s words. “The two of you had something that the rest of us greatly admired and he knew how lucky he was. But now? If that is not too personal a question.”

Robin shook his head. “No one since him,” he replied softly. “I know that he would tell me I was a fool for not even looking, though, especially after this long.” He turned back to the plate and scooped another bite into his mouth. “I think I’ve just been so focused on my work that I haven’t really even tried.” He chuckled as he wiped his mouth again. “Funny, that. One of my new counselors told me the other day that I really needed to make time for myself soon. Some down time. It’s been ages since I’ve even tried to date anyone, and am probably way out of practice, but I think maybe I should start looking again, use that down time as a way to come to peace with what happened and start to move on.” He looked up to Niall. “I was thinking about some time on Archadia, the planet below. Hike a few trails, do a little camping, take in some of their more famous sights. Maybe that time in the woods will help clear things up a bit for me.”

“It always does for me and the farther out into nowhere the better. I think that out there? You can’t hide from yourself, if that makes sense. It has a way of putting things in perspective.” Niall smiled once more. “Your counselor is right. You should. Looking around with a new viewpoint might bring some new things into focus. Besides,” his smile widened. “Your Aunt Estelle asked me to remind you of that. Well, she said to lose the blinders but it amounts to the same thing.”

Robin laughed out loud. “You’ve spoken to Estelle? That crazy old bat. Oh, I miss her. Such a good woman. And you, my friend, would make a decent counselor. Pretty sage advice that even a counselor needs to hear on occasion.”

“I’m glad to be of service.” Niall inclined his head at the compliment, then eyed Robin’s plate. “I also hope that my presence here will be more of a help than a painful reminder. You’re almost done, allow me to provide the after dinner drinks.”

“Thank you, that would be lovely.” Pushing the plate away with only a few bites left, he felt that he needed to comment. “I’ll be honest, it was a bit of a shock when I got your message and when you showed up. But we only spoke a few times before and that may have caused my trepidation. Now? I’m actually glad you came by. I haven’t really spoke to anyone about Stephen in, well, too long.”

Niall pulled the small padd from his pocket and tapped out a message. “You’re right, that is too long. Not good for you Robin. You of all people know that.”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. They both knew he was wrong in not having done so. But what’s done is done and he can only work to change it now. And oddly enough, their discussion of Stephen after so long was taking him in the direction of moving past him. That, too, had taken too long.

Several moments later, the door chime rang. “Allow me.” Niall stood and crossed to open the door. A young woman was there and she passed a bag to Niall. “Thank you Lani. Now go get some sleep. Late breakfast in the morning.”

She wished him goodnight and Niall returned to the table. He opened the bag and removed a glass bottle that contained a vivid green liquid. “Aldebaran whiskey.” With practiced ease, he began to remove the seal.

“The good stuff,” Robin said with a smile as he retrieved two small glasses from the kitchen.

Niall filled the glasses, passed one to Robin and moved out to the living room, bottle in hand. “Where would you prefer I sit?”

“Anywhere you please,” Robin said with a wave of his hand. “Mind you, I haven’t had time to remove any stray cat hairs, but she normally doesn’t get onto the furniture.” He seated himself in a single chair close to the coffee table and across from the sofa.

Niall sat down across from him, placed the bottle on the table, then raised his glass. “Well, it seems we are toasting to moving forward. And to good memories.”

Robin raised his own glass. “And renewing old acquaintances,” he said before taking a drink. “How long are you on station before you have to leave for Valhalla?”

“A couple of weeks. Most of the materials are still being delivered out there so I won’t be needed on-site for a little while yet. Once I am needed, I’ll be back and forth.” He sipped the whiskey and sighed with satisfaction. “So you’ll be seeing my face around here a lot for the foreseeable future, enough that I’ve leased office space on the Promenade.” He closed his eyes and drained the glass. The fire that warmed him was welcome indeed.

“I’d heard that they only have a few temporary buildings up and were mostly just clearing land at the moment.” He hadn’t really been keeping up with the new colony’s progress but he had heard a few minor things. “Maybe we can meet for lunch or something when you’re around. I’m sure you’ll be kept busy, but like you and my counselor said, everyone needs some down time.”

“I’d like that very much.” Niall refilled their glasses. “You and your counselor are not the only ones prescribing down time. My assistants seem to think I have someone come in at night, turn me off and stash me in a closet till the next morning and lecture me accordingly.” He laughed briefly. “They spend an inordinate amount of time speculating on just what I actually do when I am not there.”

Robin smiled. “I had a chief counselor like that once. He was there when I arrived and when I left. He was even there one time when I popped in at night.” He shook his head. “I, too, thought he was some sort of android.”

“So, I chide you for not attending to your personal life, yet I have little room to talk. I can tell you, however, that Lani will be extremely curious about this meeting tomorrow. She’s my main assistant,” he explained. “The young woman who delivered this whiskey.”

“Have that air of mystery around you with them, eh?” He quickly reflected on those he called friend and how much he would and wouldn’t share with them. “I wouldn’t say I’m the exact opposite but I do share quite a bit with some of my employees, my aide in particular. She’d be more properly classified as my best friend rather than my aide, but,” he shrugged, “it is what it is.”

“Your best friend.” Niall reflected on that as he looked down into his glass. “I’m not so sure I have one of those. No one I confide in anyway. She must be a remarkable woman. It’s funny, I was on the road so much with the Fleet and it’s lessened some now but even so, it’s made connections difficult. Eventually, you look up and realize it’s been years since you were truly close to anyone.” He took another drink of the whiskey. “And yes, that’s me saying I know how it’s been with you and how easy it is for the years to just melt away.”

Freya had been lurking in the shadows of the hallway into the bedroom. Now that Robin was in his favorite chair, she managed to slink up beside him without being seen and surprised Robin and Niall both when she jumped into his lap. “Oh, good grief, cat!” he said angrily, but put his hand on her head and back softly to rub on her. He set the glass on the table and held onto her more tightly. Her ears were set back and she was still wary of Niall.

With a curious expression, he reached across the table and held out his finger for Freya to sniff if she was so inclined.

“Don’t be rude,” Robin said, trying to prompt her to be more sociable. When she pulled back slightly, Robin held onto her and even reached out to touch Niall’s finger himself. “See? He’s not a bad person.”

She seemed to relax a bit, but not much. Instead she stood to her full height, stretched and jumped from his lap and disappeared into the bedroom again.

“Well, that was actually somewhat progressive for her,” Robin said with a chuckle.

“Then I’m flattered.” Niall’s gaze dropped to Robin’s hand, his expression unreadable. “Perhaps she will get used to me eventually.”

“Maybe so. She’s gotten pretty close to Dru--my friend, and she’s warming up to her boyfriend. So we may see a thaw in that chill of hers.”

“What about your own?” It seemed a casual question, but in light of their conversation over dinner, it was clear Niall’s question went deeper.

Robin smirked. “I’m getting there,” he replied. “I was nervous at first, but I didn’t really give you a fair shot before I put up the defenses. But I’m glad that you stopped by, to be honest. You seem to make for pretty good company.”

Something in Robin’s words seemed to amuse him. “So do you. And to be fair, I know that the time I stepped from was a painful one.” He drained his glass in one drink. “Perhaps I can make up for that.”

“Maybe so. Although, after speaking to you now, looking back I kind of regret that we didn’t get to know each other a bit more earlier.” He sipped at the last of his own drink and put the glass on the table. “But we can make up for that now, as you say.”

“I’d like that.” Niall rose and picked up the glasses. “Starting with lunch tomorrow?” He turned and crossed to the kitchen to leave the glasses. “I am meeting with Lani but not till late morning and then nothing after except unpacking.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Robin said, standing as well. “If I could make a few recommendations, Ha’Dara is where I got the Bajoran food, and it’s excellent. But there’s also Lao’s Chinese Restaurant, if you’re into that. Best dumplings ever.”

“You choose...whatever you’d like.” He gave Robin the deck and number of his new offices. “Meet me there?”

“It’s a date,” Robin said, then blurted out, “dinner date.” He could feel the redness already running up the side of his neck. “I’ll meet you there tomorrow. Thanks for the drinks and for the good conversation.”

“I’ve enjoyed it more than you know Robin.” Niall’s smile returned. “Save the whiskey for next time.” He crossed to the doors and opened them. “Till tomorrow.” Then he was gone, the doors closing behind him.

He stood in the middle of the living room a moment before sitting back in his chair. “That was...different,” he said as Freya jumped into his lap and started purring. “I’m not sure what to think of that whole thing, Freya. What about you?”

Nuzzling into his stomach she meowed a few times and looked at the door herself.

“Enjoyed it more than I knew?” he said aloud. Freya looked up at him momentarily before she began cleaning herself. He rubbed her head and smiled. “I think I need a shower myself. I’ll let you know how the lunch goes tomorrow.”

As he walked back to the bathroom he said again, “More than I knew?” He harrumphed. “I don’t even know what that means.”

--------------------------------------------
Lt. Cmdr. Robin Swift
Taking a Confused, Cold Shower

Dr. Niall Sala
Looking Ahead