Our Little Secret

Posted on Fri May 15th, 2015 @ 12:50am by Commander Dae Nalas & Lieutenant Commander Solis

Mission: Breaking New Ground
Location: USS Inaba - En Route To 900

* * * USS Inaba * * *

It was two hours later when Solis emerged from the quarters he shared with Julisa. She had showered (with both help and distraction from Solis), then had a bite to eat (and it had literally been just about a bite). Solis had spent the rest of the time holding her in his arms, still needing to convince himself she was really here, simply listening to her voice as they talked of nothing important. Finally, she had fallen asleep and once he tucked her in, he closed the door to the quarters and made his way up front.

Now he settled into the seat by Dae, sitting silent as he stared out into space. There was so much he wanted to say and for once, Solis had no idea where to begin. Having a Betazoid sitting right beside you, however, had its advantages and after allowing Solis some moments of reflection, Dae spoke.

"I understand."

Of all the things he could have said, in Solis' opinion, that was just about perfect. It was one reason he loved other telepaths. Now, he and this particular telepath were bound together by a heavy secret for the rest of their long days. On a whim, he reached out to squeeze Dae's arm.

"It's just so huge Dae. What the hell are we supposed to do for the next hundred years?"

Dae had to smile at that. "Speak for yourself. If I make it another fifty, it will be amazing good fortune." He sighed aloud and shook his head. "Solis, to be honest, I don't know how you are going to keep it from her. It's not like she can't read you and isn't in your head any time she wishes."

Solis ran his hand over his face and grumbled. "You just hit the nail on the head, my friend. You're the one whose business it is to keep secrets. How do you lock away things you absolutely cannot have someone else knowing?"

Dae shrugged. "Practice, but I don't have someone I come home to every night that is invited to take up residence in my head. I have a much more solo existence so it's not an issue for me. And the occasional company isn't interested in what's in my head."

Solis laughed for a moment. "Point taken. I can hide it away but she'll know there's something I'm not telling her. She's encountered it before and had the good grace not to ask. I'm just hoping this time will be the same. Life with a lawyer.." He gave Dae a rueful smile.

"Better you than me. You can always use my standard line...'that's classified'. They expect that from me, and you're a doctor. You could pull it off I bet."

"Worth a try, anyhow," Solis commented. He fell silent and frowned.

"How about you address what's really bothering you about all this," Dae suggested, his voice soft. "You watched your wife die in your arms because you couldn't save her. You are a doctor and you couldn't do it. I don't mean to be harsh but if you don't deal with that, it's going to fester and blow up in your face eventually."

Solis slammed his fist on the panel before him, then several more times in rapid succession. When he spoke, it was barely a whisper. "I keep going round and round, wondering what I would have done if Ehlana hadn't come? What if...what if....what the hell if...and all of those paths lead to madness, Dae. And yes, you're right. In those moments, everything I've worked so hard for came to nothing. I became nothing."

"You're not a god, Solis, even if Edana thinks you look like one. Which means that had things not turned around, you could not be faulted. I know that is absolutely no help, but it's something to keep in mind going forward. You cannot start doubting yourself because of this." Dae managed a smile. "Besides, when this starts to drive you crazy at times, and it will, you can come see me. We'll disappear for the night, drink ourselves silly, blow off some steam, then get back to life." He paused to glance over to Solis. "It's how those in my line of work survive mentally. You have this one big secret to carry. I have too many to count. Sometimes I just have to cut loose or I will go nuts."

"I'll settle down, eventually. What I have to focus on is that she's still here with me. I want to shout it out, laugh...dance....go crazy in a good way but I can't. She'd wonder why I was so giddy and I can't tell her. So, I have to be quietly thankful of every damn minute I have with her." His eyes shone with unshed tears as he looked back at Dae. "I'm going to take you up on that offer."

"You will." Dae nodded. "And I meant what I said. You need to talk about it anytime, I'll be there."

"Thank you," Solis whispered, then smiled. "Do you know how to cha-cha?"

"What?" The question caught Dae off-guard. "Actually I do, why?"

Solis shook his head. "Nothing. Old joke with Dr. Crane. Remind me to tell you sometime."

Dae laughed aloud. "Will do. But I warn you, I insist on leading."

"So does Earl." Solis took a deep breath, feeling just a little better. "Why don't I take over and you go get some sleep? I'm good for another day or two yet."

"Thanks." Dae stood and rested a hand on Solis' shoulder. "I think you have it right. Enjoy every minute."

"I will. And Dae?"

"Yeah?"

Thanks again."

Dae smiled and vanished into his quarters, leaving Solis alone with the stars.

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Lt. Commander Dae Nalas
Lt. Solis
Forever Bound